Last week we visited the question: Would you give up everything you’ve learned from adversity in order to erase the event from your storyline?And if you didn’t get a chance to read the responses, you’re in for a treat. Thank you to all who responded to the prompt with such intimate, powerful reflections. Maurice Clive Bisby summed it up beautifully: First let me say that I spend a lot of time reading comments on Substack posts, just sometimes do I chip in my two pennyworth. This time I am moved by everything posted here... Been there experienced that, grieved, examined, learned. I am moved and I thank you all. I was who I was, I could and should have done some things differently, yet without them I would not be who I am now, or what I am yet to become. This week, you can hear a group of diverse individuals explore this question in relationship to chronic or terminal illness and disability. Buckle up. This one stopped and resuscitated my heart at least a dozen times.
Kathryn Vercillo asked me a similar question when she interviewed me for her “Create Me Free” newsletter: “If you could magically have lived your life without ever experiencing depression, would you? How do you think that would have impacted your trajectory as a writer?” This was my answer:
“As miserable as depression has made me throughout my life, if I could magically erase my long history of living with it I don’t think I would. My experiences of depression have inspired some of my best writing and enabled me to help others who live with it.
My most severe bout of depression in 2021 almost killed me but also made me desperate enough to take the risks necessary to move toward the life I want. It forced me to see that my society’s definition of a good life is not the same as mine. It led me to start living a more authentic and creative life based on my definition instead of society’s.”
Anyone interested in the full interview can read it (and lots of other great content) in Kathryn’s newsletter or mine (“Changing Lives,” wendigordon.substack.com).
I really relate to what you share about “the good life” and how we must define that for ourselves. The media is so good at telling us what it should look like, even the well-intentioned psychologists and thought leaders! But I, too, have had to listen to the unsung/unlived voice within and give her a chance to find out just what the “good life” is. Thank you for sharing your reflections on this!
Yes, even self-improvement can become one more thing we beat ourselves up for not doing enough of, or doing “right.” And there can be an unhealthy pressure to pretend to be happier or healthier than we are to please others (including medical and mental health professionals).
But there’s no magic one-size-fits-all ideal life or linear path with a clear timeline that works for everyone.
You definitely feel this in your body and heart when you are watching people provide their response. Dylan. He gets me every time. His thoughtfulness with his answer(s) was so honest and raw. "Yes, of course I would..." "Would I give up my soul...no."
When I pondered this question last week, I found it hard to say one or the other. As some said, depending on the day. For me, it would be a yes and a no. Kind of like what Dylan shared. So many deep honest responses to a really thoughful question. Not easy to answer sometimes.
Thank you for taking the time to hear their responses. Yes, I think the truest response is that we vacillate, just like anything in life. No right or wrong, No black or white. All smears and splatters of gray. :) And I agree, Dylan's profound, hard-to-imagine, lived experience is like nothing else. I spent the day with him yesterday reading out loud the final chapter of his forth-coming memoir. So dear to look up occasionally from my reading and see smiles and tears spread across his face. His soul has definitely NOT been sacrificed through his experience with ALS.
Kathryn Vercillo asked me a similar question when she interviewed me for her “Create Me Free” newsletter: “If you could magically have lived your life without ever experiencing depression, would you? How do you think that would have impacted your trajectory as a writer?” This was my answer:
“As miserable as depression has made me throughout my life, if I could magically erase my long history of living with it I don’t think I would. My experiences of depression have inspired some of my best writing and enabled me to help others who live with it.
My most severe bout of depression in 2021 almost killed me but also made me desperate enough to take the risks necessary to move toward the life I want. It forced me to see that my society’s definition of a good life is not the same as mine. It led me to start living a more authentic and creative life based on my definition instead of society’s.”
Anyone interested in the full interview can read it (and lots of other great content) in Kathryn’s newsletter or mine (“Changing Lives,” wendigordon.substack.com).
I really relate to what you share about “the good life” and how we must define that for ourselves. The media is so good at telling us what it should look like, even the well-intentioned psychologists and thought leaders! But I, too, have had to listen to the unsung/unlived voice within and give her a chance to find out just what the “good life” is. Thank you for sharing your reflections on this!
Yes, even self-improvement can become one more thing we beat ourselves up for not doing enough of, or doing “right.” And there can be an unhealthy pressure to pretend to be happier or healthier than we are to please others (including medical and mental health professionals).
But there’s no magic one-size-fits-all ideal life or linear path with a clear timeline that works for everyone.
You definitely feel this in your body and heart when you are watching people provide their response. Dylan. He gets me every time. His thoughtfulness with his answer(s) was so honest and raw. "Yes, of course I would..." "Would I give up my soul...no."
When I pondered this question last week, I found it hard to say one or the other. As some said, depending on the day. For me, it would be a yes and a no. Kind of like what Dylan shared. So many deep honest responses to a really thoughful question. Not easy to answer sometimes.
Thank you for taking the time to hear their responses. Yes, I think the truest response is that we vacillate, just like anything in life. No right or wrong, No black or white. All smears and splatters of gray. :) And I agree, Dylan's profound, hard-to-imagine, lived experience is like nothing else. I spent the day with him yesterday reading out loud the final chapter of his forth-coming memoir. So dear to look up occasionally from my reading and see smiles and tears spread across his face. His soul has definitely NOT been sacrificed through his experience with ALS.
What a gift to be able to share that space and time with him. ❤️