Optimism saves us from despair. Pessimism permits us to feel uncomfortable feelings. Realism offers a perspective grounded in the present and known facts. All three outlooks can be helpful, especially when we’re able to move fluidly between them. Or some have a more layered cake approach—optimistic realists, pessimistic realists, optimistic idealists, or pessimistic idealists. Anyone out there an idealistic pessimistic optimist? :)One Unfixed community member, Julie, lives with a rare, neurological disorder Mal de Débarquement and finds all three to be helpful, depending on the day: I think I tend to land in realism the most, then move to optimism to get through my days, but the timed pity parties are also essential to embrace this monster as it is.Perhaps we all have a home base that most serves us and I don’t believe one approach is better than another. I was raised in a New Age change-your-thoughts-change-your-reality paradigm so learning some healthy pessimism has been good for me. I love nothing more than a cynical Eeyore, though optimism is never far and helps keep the fire lit within. With what mindset do you approach adversity? Which outlook best serves your creativity? What figure’s mindset from history, literature or pop culture do you most relate or aspire to? Are you a Ted Lasso, a Schopenhauer, or an Edward Hopper?
A very uplifting and thought-provoking piece, Kimberly. I feel I shift between all three depending on the circumstance, but I try to guide myself back to optimism wherever possible. I would like to meet a “idealistic pessimistic optimist?” Haha :)
Brilliant, I resonate so deeply with Lydia's quote and so appreciative how succinctly she put that. I definitely bounce around the three, which, as I was reading, I realised I'm actually very critical of myself about. So it was lovely to see that it isn't some maniacal way of being, but it's actually quite useful! Big big thank you for that. (That said, out of those three figures, I am definitely an Edward Hopper!)
Lydia is quite a spectacular human. She was a guest on one of the webcasts I do with MS patients. And someone just did a documentary about her as well. https://lydiaemily.com. She's a modern Frida Kahlo. Hugs to you Ms. Hopper! xoxo
Wow, I just watched the trailer for The Art of Rebellion. What a spirit ✊. Is the webcast you did with her available on your website? I'd love to hear you guys talk. Excited to read the Mr G article in the morning, too. Thank you, dear one xox
What a great line: "Optimism saves us from despair. Pessimism permits us to feel uncomfortable feelings. Realism offers a perspective grounded in the present and known facts." I feel like I can use this right now in my life.
Very much enjoying episodes of Unfixed Mind, brave and uplifting voices about the stigma and challenges surrounding mental health.
You are a gem of a human. Your gutted presentation is an inspiration and makes me want to reach out and give you a giant bear hug. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving Unfixed Mind and those voices your kind, receptive presence.
I find solace in the absurd and the comedic, which I think may be a messy cyclical mix of all three... optimism keeps me curious enough ask, "And then?" or "What if we did x?" Pessimism lets me explore the deep muddy of all 'the dark feels' and then realism drags me back up to the relatable to comedic level to say the thing that everyone is thinking, but usually won't say because it's too real/impolite... and so they work in service of each other?
Gawd I love your brain. I picture you around a dinner table with family, never shy to speak what's actually happening in the room but doing it with such a wicked wit that no one notices you just threw them all under the table. :)
HA! I'm nothin'.. my daughters completely out-banter me... those girls are so sharp-tongued-smart, I'm surprised we're all not having Thanksgiving under the table 😂
I default to pessimism, fight hard to be a realist, but would like nothing more than to be a full-time optimist.
Optimistic realism is what I've found works best for me long-term, though. I think optimism is key to dealing with adversity but a healthy dose of realism is also important. Hope is vital but it should be grounded in something. Sometimes people are too optimistic and it blinds them to reality, then something happens and they're crushed. I've seen this happen to people on multiple occasions. It's happened to me too.
Very well said Christopher! Yes, hope is a tricky one. I found myself needing to give up hope altogether for a period, it was keeping me from having a relationship with "what is." Once I could meet the situation with clear eyes, I was able to develop more compassion for it... in a way, hope was a weird, twisted act of "violence" toward myself, if that makes sense.
I used to be Ted Lasso riding a unicorn with a glitter fairy wand. After living with mdds for 8 years though I’ve moved much more into Hopper land, though I may still have a bag of glitter or two still tucked in my pocket. :)
I definitely agree three points of views are necessary for one's sanity and well-being. I think I gravitate towards three then and then. But hope is always within me, though I don't really think of it as optimism, just a different kind of frame of mind.
A very uplifting and thought-provoking piece, Kimberly. I feel I shift between all three depending on the circumstance, but I try to guide myself back to optimism wherever possible. I would like to meet a “idealistic pessimistic optimist?” Haha :)
I think felines might fall into this last category. :)
Hahaha that’s gold! I agree :)
Brilliant, I resonate so deeply with Lydia's quote and so appreciative how succinctly she put that. I definitely bounce around the three, which, as I was reading, I realised I'm actually very critical of myself about. So it was lovely to see that it isn't some maniacal way of being, but it's actually quite useful! Big big thank you for that. (That said, out of those three figures, I am definitely an Edward Hopper!)
Lydia is quite a spectacular human. She was a guest on one of the webcasts I do with MS patients. And someone just did a documentary about her as well. https://lydiaemily.com. She's a modern Frida Kahlo. Hugs to you Ms. Hopper! xoxo
Wow, I just watched the trailer for The Art of Rebellion. What a spirit ✊. Is the webcast you did with her available on your website? I'd love to hear you guys talk. Excited to read the Mr G article in the morning, too. Thank you, dear one xox
Yes! Here you go: https://youtu.be/i72h-HO7x9w?si=lKoA_Uxh1WGkc3XT
What a great line: "Optimism saves us from despair. Pessimism permits us to feel uncomfortable feelings. Realism offers a perspective grounded in the present and known facts." I feel like I can use this right now in my life.
Very much enjoying episodes of Unfixed Mind, brave and uplifting voices about the stigma and challenges surrounding mental health.
You are a gem of a human. Your gutted presentation is an inspiration and makes me want to reach out and give you a giant bear hug. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving Unfixed Mind and those voices your kind, receptive presence.
I find solace in the absurd and the comedic, which I think may be a messy cyclical mix of all three... optimism keeps me curious enough ask, "And then?" or "What if we did x?" Pessimism lets me explore the deep muddy of all 'the dark feels' and then realism drags me back up to the relatable to comedic level to say the thing that everyone is thinking, but usually won't say because it's too real/impolite... and so they work in service of each other?
Gawd I love your brain. I picture you around a dinner table with family, never shy to speak what's actually happening in the room but doing it with such a wicked wit that no one notices you just threw them all under the table. :)
HA! I'm nothin'.. my daughters completely out-banter me... those girls are so sharp-tongued-smart, I'm surprised we're all not having Thanksgiving under the table 😂
Oh man, please transcribe that dinner conversation and share!
I default to pessimism, fight hard to be a realist, but would like nothing more than to be a full-time optimist.
Optimistic realism is what I've found works best for me long-term, though. I think optimism is key to dealing with adversity but a healthy dose of realism is also important. Hope is vital but it should be grounded in something. Sometimes people are too optimistic and it blinds them to reality, then something happens and they're crushed. I've seen this happen to people on multiple occasions. It's happened to me too.
Which is a long way of saying, I am Ted Lasso.
Very well said Christopher! Yes, hope is a tricky one. I found myself needing to give up hope altogether for a period, it was keeping me from having a relationship with "what is." Once I could meet the situation with clear eyes, I was able to develop more compassion for it... in a way, hope was a weird, twisted act of "violence" toward myself, if that makes sense.
I think that makes sense. I guess it depends what someone is hoping for.
What character would you be?
I used to be Ted Lasso riding a unicorn with a glitter fairy wand. After living with mdds for 8 years though I’ve moved much more into Hopper land, though I may still have a bag of glitter or two still tucked in my pocket. :)
You strike me as a Hopper. (He's the realist, right?)
Yessir!
I definitely agree three points of views are necessary for one's sanity and well-being. I think I gravitate towards three then and then. But hope is always within me, though I don't really think of it as optimism, just a different kind of frame of mind.