As someone who has been practicing yoga for 33 years and teaching for 28, and as someone who owns a yoga-and-wellness website I want to say I could not love this more and I bet that isn’t where you thought I was going 🤣 Toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing and predatory influencers promising THIER way is THE way are some of the most abhorrent things going in the wellness world. I’m no zealot, I don’t think yoga is for everyone. And it certainly isn’t going to cure a toxic work environment or abusive relationship. I get really upset when someone looking for actual help gets scammed. For me, personally yoga and meditation help me quiet my mind, calm my nervous system and take care of my physical health. And that makes me a better mom, friend and human being. That to me is what is helpful. Loved this post 🤍
Haha! You got me. I actually did have a bit of a stomach flip upon reading your first sentence! Uh oh, deep breath. :)
Just subscribed to your newsletter; thank you for contributing here. We need more humans like you in the wellness space that approach this world with a wide lens, a deep appreciation for the complexity of systems and a sense of humor!
Sorry for making your stomach flip!! I really appreciate what you’re doing. Years ago I wrote a piece for mindbodygreen and my title was: Being Positive Can Make You Sick but they changed the title to: Why Being Positive Makes You Sick, and you can imagine I got slaughtered in the comments by people who hadn’t bothered to read the article. Anyway you’re doing great work and I’m here for it 🤍
This is great to hear. I've only recently started exploring some yoga, but it's been an excellent and grounding experience, helping (as you say) to quiet the mind.
It really is so good for that. I love that I can take care of my physical, mental and emotional health all at once, and without it I have such a busy, loud, relentless mind! Happy you’re having a good experience :)
Do your research. We are obsessed with this state of being but accidents and genetics are out there to ambush you at any minute and WHAM you're out. I believe in feeling good and sometimes it's expensive ex. plastic surgeon but sometimes if it makes you happy go for it. As for the products - get skin cream and eat well and exercise....the end
1) What does wellness mean to you? It means never having to say I'm sorry. LOL. No, really though. If I'm well, I'm not constantly apologizing to others for my very existence. So, it's not too far off! Ideally, its feeling comfortable in my own skin, not being afraid to speak my mind (without having to apologize for having an opinion), and being able to be where and with whom I want to be. No more trying to fit myself somewhere not of my liking or against my better judgement.
2) Has the wellness industry been helpful or harmful to you? Generally helpful, when I haven't taken it too the extreme. I have tried all the basic things: meditation, yoga, exercise, journaling, etc. Once I realized there was no one "right" way or "perfect" thing that was going to make me magically feel better, i was able to relax into the different tools to help me feel better.
3) How do you navigate your own well-being amidst false claims and promises? I don't believe in the false claims and promises because I know better now. The work needed to be well is internal and the external stuff is just a pit stop on the way to figuring that out. The only thing that really worked for me is therapy. All the other stuff was nice, but it's not the game changer to get well.
Kim, what a deep dive into these questions! And such an original, thought-provoking responses. I love that your definition of wellness is an internal condition, not something to purchase, not inaccessible to some, not conditional. And then moving through our lives unapologetically centered within our truth, we are then able to enjoy the "pit stops" along the way, knowing they aren't magic bullets, but they can certainly help. Thank you for your insight here, always. xo
My experience with so-called "wellness" has been with a so-called "coach" who found me through her sister, who is my friend, widow of a famous author who was also my friend--I won't name names. Because of that rec, I agreed. She then "used" me as way to promote her coaching, interviewed me because of my books, and than after doing all she asked, told me I wasn't doing enough to help her, promoted others and excluded me from any promotion whatsovever. So, I guess you could say I am not a fan. She had absolutely no qualifications for what she was offering, as I learned. I didn't pay her or subscribe to her and felt betrayed after working so hard to help her.
Ohhhh, don't get me started! The coaching industry is a puzzling one. I just listened to this podcast episode a few weeks ago and it did a good job identifying some of the core issues (ie. a huge emphasis on marketing, growth and money under the guise of service) with the exploding life and wellness coaching phenomenon. https://www.conspirituality.net/episodes/coaches-coaching-coaches-mallory-demille I'm sorry you had to experience that, there's nothing worse that investing time and energy into someone/something and then realizing your intentions weren't aligned with theirs.
There is nothing like trusting our own experience. In my experience qualifications rarely equate with the value you pay for them. The worst was a psychologist I went to...he didn't see me sitting in the waiting area when he came out of his office. He said to the receptionist, "When is my wife's next Mercedes payment due here?" His mild embarrassment when he realised I was already there was insufficient for the insult. I have training in psychology but rejected the pathway to 'registration'. Even with significant CPD requirements, some people just don't have what it takes to hold a space and be genuinely present.
He did NOT!!!! Oh my god that's horrifying. But not surprising. Academic qualifications definitely do not automatically award one with emotional intelligence and compassion.
I think it's unfair to take this away too. 😕 I think if people are looking for wellness to help them big pharma probably already failed them. I think do what makes you happy. It's not exactly harmful especially if it's a natural quick fix. Although, some vitamins that are helpful can be a mess in high doses. Do your research. Always. Do your research. And try, try, try to smile. I read that somewhere once that it increases blood flow to the brain and uses muscles that increase endorphins. Many a time I've faked a smile- like now- just to get that and I find it's helped a little bit. Every little bit helps, even if short term. Nothings perfect and I think we all want natural ways to help ourselves that aren't chemical or big pharma business infused. ❤️
Oh I totally agree. Not saying it needs to go away, just put within a context where it's not always a cure-all and sometimes can do more harm than good. I wrote in a comment above that for me, with tendencies toward compulsion and obsessive thinking, it worsened my symptoms by constantly grasping at the newest, latest, greatest, only to realize years later that what my body was really needing was rest, a mind that learned to be ok with discomfort, and a heart that could develop compassion toward all the unwanted feelings. That was my salvation. And for others, it's something else and I totally celebrate that!
I think as an American I see that so much. Always trying to get the newest thing. What's going to work the best next... I agree on that part and to be completely honest- REST is really my salvation too. I hope you're still getting rest you need and I hope that others reading this come to realize that rest is so important. More important than anything. I've grown to learn that at least. Especially in this go go go hustle society. ❤️
Haha! I love this idea. There needs to be a Club Rest. Forget Sandals and the other resorts for couples and beaches etc... just a place where you can go and get some sleep and relaxation 😌 -- especially after a long week. I don't even have children and I'm aware of the necessary rest. Only after I started resting because my Mounjaro (diabetes shot) made me-- seriously, so much fatigue I couldn't not give in to it!-- did I come to understand really... that's what I and everyone else need. A woman on Twitter (x)... she had similar symptoms. I think she needs rest! Rest, it does a body good. Xoxo. ❤️😊
It's been so interesting to reflect on my relationship to 'wellness'. As it stands I think of true wellness as wholeness, as a deep (well of) acceptance of the entirety of myself and, ideally, every one and every thing else. I think a genuine caring for oneself comes naturally alongside a true acceptance--whereas the fear, anxiety and shame driven 'caring for oneself' that comes from the wellness industry's instruction is in fact just self-punishment in disguise.
Even if the person saying that we are not enough is beautiful and claims to be a friend who just wants to help, they're still saying that we're not enough, and therefore cannot be trusted.
"...the fear, anxiety and shame driven 'caring for oneself' that comes from the wellness industry's instruction is in fact just self-punishment in disguise." So much truth in this one statement. And so disguised in sunny promises, golden elixirs and illusions of service and agency. We just finished watching Season 1 of Fargo and like the husband Lester Nygaard, claiming to be innocent and a shining pillar of the community, he's the most wretched in his dishonesty. In my opinion, even more than the Billy Bob character who bears no false claims to his evil core.
I am constantly being approached by wellness types about how yoga, CBD oil, etc. will cure your seizures, so it's one long sigh for me. I did LOVE Leigh Stein's satirical novel about the industry SELF CARE (https://a.co/d/bx3btgv) It really was spot-on.
The wellness industry is just that - an industry with a bottom line. It’s up to the person seeking improvement/ wellness or help with a chronic condition to do their due diligence. For many patients it’s difficult to separate the reality from the hype.
Absolutely. In my youth and teens, and with a tendency toward perfectionism and OCD, I found it spiraled me into even more obsessive thinking, which only further exacerbated an already hyper-vigilant nervous state. Even practices as harmless as meditation, I've now learned can hook me too much into "self-improvement" thinking... so instead I start my morning playing fetch with my cats. :)
I just read the last line of your comment to my partner. In regards to playing fetch with your cats, his response was...'Yeah, engaging with life'. And that seems exactly the point to me. Wellness is about engaging with life...as soon as it isn't that, it isn't wellness.
Ah! Great summation! That's brilliant Kelly. And I suppose it's up to the individual to decide if their life choices are indeed "engaging with life." In LA, epicenter of the wellness industry, I am suspicious if spending the majority of one's day going to yoga, meditating, getting colonics, getting acupuncture, Master Cleansing, shopping for Goop's latest greatest, and hanging with only people who are also doing x, y, and z (at Whole Foods) actually qualifies as "engaging with life." Disclaimer, that was me in my 20's. And it made me sick, literally.
What a great article. I appreciated your focus on the pitfalls within the mental health arena - - "Additionally, wellness capitalism can also perpetuate the myth that mental health conditions are caused by individual deficiencies rather than systemic factors, leading to stigmatization and lack of access to proper help."
Thanks Kim. In the digital age, discerning reliable wellness advice amidst widespread misinformation requires critical thinking and skepticism. It's vital to verify the credentials of wellness influencers and seek evidence-based information from reputable sources. Consulting healthcare professionals before making health decisions is also crucial for safe and informed wellness practices.
The book "Real Self-Care (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)," by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., has some great insights on this. Pooja is a psychiatrist who has had some very unhealthy wellness experiences, personally. She sees the pitfalls of conventional medicine and "self-help" equally well, from what I have read, so far.
Sounds like an important read. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I especially like that she balances the argument, identifying pitfalls on both ends of the spectrum. Nothing inherently is bad on its own, but the delivery, context and culture it thrives in can turn something harmless into poison.
As someone who has been practicing yoga for 33 years and teaching for 28, and as someone who owns a yoga-and-wellness website I want to say I could not love this more and I bet that isn’t where you thought I was going 🤣 Toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing and predatory influencers promising THIER way is THE way are some of the most abhorrent things going in the wellness world. I’m no zealot, I don’t think yoga is for everyone. And it certainly isn’t going to cure a toxic work environment or abusive relationship. I get really upset when someone looking for actual help gets scammed. For me, personally yoga and meditation help me quiet my mind, calm my nervous system and take care of my physical health. And that makes me a better mom, friend and human being. That to me is what is helpful. Loved this post 🤍
Haha! You got me. I actually did have a bit of a stomach flip upon reading your first sentence! Uh oh, deep breath. :)
Just subscribed to your newsletter; thank you for contributing here. We need more humans like you in the wellness space that approach this world with a wide lens, a deep appreciation for the complexity of systems and a sense of humor!
Sorry for making your stomach flip!! I really appreciate what you’re doing. Years ago I wrote a piece for mindbodygreen and my title was: Being Positive Can Make You Sick but they changed the title to: Why Being Positive Makes You Sick, and you can imagine I got slaughtered in the comments by people who hadn’t bothered to read the article. Anyway you’re doing great work and I’m here for it 🤍
Wellness is as hot and controversial as religion. ;) I'd love to read your article if you want to link it here!
I think MBG has changed their focus, not totally sure but I don’t know if that article exists anymore anywhere! A google search was fruitless 🤷🏻♀️
Oh well! Thanks for trying Ally. I have all your current essays to begin poring through anyway. ;)
🤍🙏🏼🤍🤍 I subscribed as well, happy to be connected :)
This is great to hear. I've only recently started exploring some yoga, but it's been an excellent and grounding experience, helping (as you say) to quiet the mind.
It really is so good for that. I love that I can take care of my physical, mental and emotional health all at once, and without it I have such a busy, loud, relentless mind! Happy you’re having a good experience :)
Do your research. We are obsessed with this state of being but accidents and genetics are out there to ambush you at any minute and WHAM you're out. I believe in feeling good and sometimes it's expensive ex. plastic surgeon but sometimes if it makes you happy go for it. As for the products - get skin cream and eat well and exercise....the end
Wow. Big questions. I'll try to answer below.
1) What does wellness mean to you? It means never having to say I'm sorry. LOL. No, really though. If I'm well, I'm not constantly apologizing to others for my very existence. So, it's not too far off! Ideally, its feeling comfortable in my own skin, not being afraid to speak my mind (without having to apologize for having an opinion), and being able to be where and with whom I want to be. No more trying to fit myself somewhere not of my liking or against my better judgement.
2) Has the wellness industry been helpful or harmful to you? Generally helpful, when I haven't taken it too the extreme. I have tried all the basic things: meditation, yoga, exercise, journaling, etc. Once I realized there was no one "right" way or "perfect" thing that was going to make me magically feel better, i was able to relax into the different tools to help me feel better.
3) How do you navigate your own well-being amidst false claims and promises? I don't believe in the false claims and promises because I know better now. The work needed to be well is internal and the external stuff is just a pit stop on the way to figuring that out. The only thing that really worked for me is therapy. All the other stuff was nice, but it's not the game changer to get well.
Kim, what a deep dive into these questions! And such an original, thought-provoking responses. I love that your definition of wellness is an internal condition, not something to purchase, not inaccessible to some, not conditional. And then moving through our lives unapologetically centered within our truth, we are then able to enjoy the "pit stops" along the way, knowing they aren't magic bullets, but they can certainly help. Thank you for your insight here, always. xo
My experience with so-called "wellness" has been with a so-called "coach" who found me through her sister, who is my friend, widow of a famous author who was also my friend--I won't name names. Because of that rec, I agreed. She then "used" me as way to promote her coaching, interviewed me because of my books, and than after doing all she asked, told me I wasn't doing enough to help her, promoted others and excluded me from any promotion whatsovever. So, I guess you could say I am not a fan. She had absolutely no qualifications for what she was offering, as I learned. I didn't pay her or subscribe to her and felt betrayed after working so hard to help her.
Ohhhh, don't get me started! The coaching industry is a puzzling one. I just listened to this podcast episode a few weeks ago and it did a good job identifying some of the core issues (ie. a huge emphasis on marketing, growth and money under the guise of service) with the exploding life and wellness coaching phenomenon. https://www.conspirituality.net/episodes/coaches-coaching-coaches-mallory-demille I'm sorry you had to experience that, there's nothing worse that investing time and energy into someone/something and then realizing your intentions weren't aligned with theirs.
No kidding on this so-called "calling".
There is nothing like trusting our own experience. In my experience qualifications rarely equate with the value you pay for them. The worst was a psychologist I went to...he didn't see me sitting in the waiting area when he came out of his office. He said to the receptionist, "When is my wife's next Mercedes payment due here?" His mild embarrassment when he realised I was already there was insufficient for the insult. I have training in psychology but rejected the pathway to 'registration'. Even with significant CPD requirements, some people just don't have what it takes to hold a space and be genuinely present.
He did NOT!!!! Oh my god that's horrifying. But not surprising. Academic qualifications definitely do not automatically award one with emotional intelligence and compassion.
I think it's unfair to take this away too. 😕 I think if people are looking for wellness to help them big pharma probably already failed them. I think do what makes you happy. It's not exactly harmful especially if it's a natural quick fix. Although, some vitamins that are helpful can be a mess in high doses. Do your research. Always. Do your research. And try, try, try to smile. I read that somewhere once that it increases blood flow to the brain and uses muscles that increase endorphins. Many a time I've faked a smile- like now- just to get that and I find it's helped a little bit. Every little bit helps, even if short term. Nothings perfect and I think we all want natural ways to help ourselves that aren't chemical or big pharma business infused. ❤️
Oh I totally agree. Not saying it needs to go away, just put within a context where it's not always a cure-all and sometimes can do more harm than good. I wrote in a comment above that for me, with tendencies toward compulsion and obsessive thinking, it worsened my symptoms by constantly grasping at the newest, latest, greatest, only to realize years later that what my body was really needing was rest, a mind that learned to be ok with discomfort, and a heart that could develop compassion toward all the unwanted feelings. That was my salvation. And for others, it's something else and I totally celebrate that!
I think as an American I see that so much. Always trying to get the newest thing. What's going to work the best next... I agree on that part and to be completely honest- REST is really my salvation too. I hope you're still getting rest you need and I hope that others reading this come to realize that rest is so important. More important than anything. I've grown to learn that at least. Especially in this go go go hustle society. ❤️
Let's start a Club Rest!
Haha! I love this idea. There needs to be a Club Rest. Forget Sandals and the other resorts for couples and beaches etc... just a place where you can go and get some sleep and relaxation 😌 -- especially after a long week. I don't even have children and I'm aware of the necessary rest. Only after I started resting because my Mounjaro (diabetes shot) made me-- seriously, so much fatigue I couldn't not give in to it!-- did I come to understand really... that's what I and everyone else need. A woman on Twitter (x)... she had similar symptoms. I think she needs rest! Rest, it does a body good. Xoxo. ❤️😊
It's been so interesting to reflect on my relationship to 'wellness'. As it stands I think of true wellness as wholeness, as a deep (well of) acceptance of the entirety of myself and, ideally, every one and every thing else. I think a genuine caring for oneself comes naturally alongside a true acceptance--whereas the fear, anxiety and shame driven 'caring for oneself' that comes from the wellness industry's instruction is in fact just self-punishment in disguise.
Even if the person saying that we are not enough is beautiful and claims to be a friend who just wants to help, they're still saying that we're not enough, and therefore cannot be trusted.
"...the fear, anxiety and shame driven 'caring for oneself' that comes from the wellness industry's instruction is in fact just self-punishment in disguise." So much truth in this one statement. And so disguised in sunny promises, golden elixirs and illusions of service and agency. We just finished watching Season 1 of Fargo and like the husband Lester Nygaard, claiming to be innocent and a shining pillar of the community, he's the most wretched in his dishonesty. In my opinion, even more than the Billy Bob character who bears no false claims to his evil core.
Totally! Perfect example of someone entirely rejecting their wholeness, and thus becoming one shadowy fucker
Don’t forget the “purpose industrial complex” — the one that tells us we only need to “be” to be well.
I am constantly being approached by wellness types about how yoga, CBD oil, etc. will cure your seizures, so it's one long sigh for me. I did LOVE Leigh Stein's satirical novel about the industry SELF CARE (https://a.co/d/bx3btgv) It really was spot-on.
I need to read this while getting a crystal enema. ;)
The wellness industry is just that - an industry with a bottom line. It’s up to the person seeking improvement/ wellness or help with a chronic condition to do their due diligence. For many patients it’s difficult to separate the reality from the hype.
Absolutely. In my youth and teens, and with a tendency toward perfectionism and OCD, I found it spiraled me into even more obsessive thinking, which only further exacerbated an already hyper-vigilant nervous state. Even practices as harmless as meditation, I've now learned can hook me too much into "self-improvement" thinking... so instead I start my morning playing fetch with my cats. :)
I just read the last line of your comment to my partner. In regards to playing fetch with your cats, his response was...'Yeah, engaging with life'. And that seems exactly the point to me. Wellness is about engaging with life...as soon as it isn't that, it isn't wellness.
Ah! Great summation! That's brilliant Kelly. And I suppose it's up to the individual to decide if their life choices are indeed "engaging with life." In LA, epicenter of the wellness industry, I am suspicious if spending the majority of one's day going to yoga, meditating, getting colonics, getting acupuncture, Master Cleansing, shopping for Goop's latest greatest, and hanging with only people who are also doing x, y, and z (at Whole Foods) actually qualifies as "engaging with life." Disclaimer, that was me in my 20's. And it made me sick, literally.
Wrote this piece on this issue of wellness capitalism last year. https://open.substack.com/pub/johnmoyermedlpcncc/p/wellness-capitalism?r=3p5dh&utm_medium=ios
What a great article. I appreciated your focus on the pitfalls within the mental health arena - - "Additionally, wellness capitalism can also perpetuate the myth that mental health conditions are caused by individual deficiencies rather than systemic factors, leading to stigmatization and lack of access to proper help."
Thanks Kim. In the digital age, discerning reliable wellness advice amidst widespread misinformation requires critical thinking and skepticism. It's vital to verify the credentials of wellness influencers and seek evidence-based information from reputable sources. Consulting healthcare professionals before making health decisions is also crucial for safe and informed wellness practices.
The book "Real Self-Care (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)," by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., has some great insights on this. Pooja is a psychiatrist who has had some very unhealthy wellness experiences, personally. She sees the pitfalls of conventional medicine and "self-help" equally well, from what I have read, so far.
Sounds like an important read. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I especially like that she balances the argument, identifying pitfalls on both ends of the spectrum. Nothing inherently is bad on its own, but the delivery, context and culture it thrives in can turn something harmless into poison.
> Nothing inherently is bad on its own, but the delivery, context and culture it thrives in can turn something harmless into poison.
Very well said. I guess that is actually what makes something "medicine" or "poison," metaphorically - and sometimes literally.
I'm glad we are slowly coming to see this at the societal level.
This is a really interesting and nuanced point on something that can sometimes be presented as ‘all good’.
Thanks Kimberly