Kimberly, What a well written. I wanted to say "wonderful" which it is wonderful by the way. But I seem to be a bit sensitive to the word wonderful these days as wonderful has knew meaning to me since I am on my own journey of redefining what that new state of "wonderful" is or means. So yes, wonderful, not in the sense of the ordeal you've gone through but wonderful in your writing, your style, and sharing your journey. I'm looking forward to reading about this journey of yours chapter by chapter. Thank you for sharing! Rex
How dear it is to have a place for all this "memoir launch" nervousness to land! Thank you for your kind words. You are reminding me how many good, supportive, loving hearts are out there.
The idea of embracing “what is” was not part of the self-help, self-actualization dogma I had been raised in. Learning to bear witness, without judgement, to my own suffering has cultivated a patience and tolerance for the human condition that I never had before.
This is seldom said by anyone but within it there is immense wisdom and the scope for actually letting the universe heal you. Thank you!
So happy to have discovered your writing and look forward to reading more about your life. Love these words: “Others are born with a mirror and must find the magic and possibility within the confines of what they’ve been given. These are the ones that will resonate most with my story.” I resonate with your story, and also write about the challenges in my life (especially living with depression, anxiety, and financial insecurity) here: https://wendigordon.Substack.com . I had to reach the point where I wanted to die to be able to rediscover my authentic self and listen to her voice above others’.
Thank you for opening yourself up to me Wendi. It’s comforting to find other humans who are gently walking similar paths/philosophies. I just subscribed to your substack and am very much looking forward to reading your essays. 🙏
Yes, it is so comforting and helpful to find kindred spirits on similar journeys, and there are lots of us writing on Substack. Thanks for subscribing to mine!
Oh, my heart . I love love love those words as well . I identify deeply to the “mirror” and “finding the magic and possibility within the confines of what they’ve been given.” If I may , I feel compelled to take this as my mantra , as a reminder, that so much is possible even within unexpected confines . Thank you , Kimberly. I’m grateful I found you . 🥹🙏🏻
Dearest Sarah, thank you for your sincere reflection and mirroring. Illness certainly puts a lot of borders on a life once untethered, but I've found it essential to find that box of possibility within those confines and nourish them as much as we possibly can. xo
Thank you for taking a moment to read this Sarah! This is my first adventure into sharing some of my most private vulnerabilities with strangers so it's very warm and reassuring to hear your feedback and enthusiasm. P.S. I'm a HUGE fan of NY Times cooking columns and have found that most of my printer paper goes toward printing out their recipes so I have no doubt many of them are yours. ;) Thank you for sharing your culinary talents with me!
Your comments and presence here are so appreciated Mary. And there you are, pinging on my first few chapters. So fun to tangle up our timelines together! I'm feeling deeply into your memoir and look forward each evening to reading more. I just learned yesterday than I can send substack posts to my Kindle and I really need to figure that out now because I find myself wanting to binge read yours right before bed. ;)
“The self who is always still, patient, loving and inclusive. And she is right here in my own awareness. I am discovering the ride to be so much less frightening knowing that no matter what happens in life, I have a refuge.”
Resonating with me big time right now. I’m so glad you found me here, so that I could find you 💛
Right? Synchronosophy indeed! I'm delighted to have discovered you and look forward to poring through more of your essays this weekend. Thank you for being here with me!
Likewise! And I'm looking forward to going on a ride with you on your journey. I feel we're talking the same language (albeit in different 'made-up words'). Much love and gratitude back to you 💕🙏
Hi! Looking forward to reading your memoir + I just subscribed. Is your memoir also available to purchase in book form? My apologies if you go over that somewhere else on here that I have not read yet. Thank you! jenn
Hello Jen! So nice to have you here... and hearty THANK YOU for your paid subscription! Someday I'd like to say it will be available in hard copy, but currently, Substack is the only place it's published. I have added "next chapter" links to the bottom of each entry though so it's easy to flip through. (Though admittedly, I prefer a nice smelling book-in-hand. ;)
So good to meet you John! Always appreciate connecting with those who get the parental misattributions on a cellular level. Looking forward to reading your story!
So many echoes of my own experience, Kimberly, but from such different angles - I can't wait to dig in to "Unfixed" - you've been on a remarkable journey. Must also check out "The Wisdom of No Escape."
Yes! A must-have guide for when everything goes to shit. :) And likewise, looking forward to the dig. May your former Jello-Mold emotional modeling be presently making colorful messes in this world with your prose.
Wow! Why did I just start reading your work now? "This story is for the ones who have felt abandoned by Western medicine, natural medicine, gods, goddesses, and green drinks. Our culture is obsessed with fixer upper stories. And there are some incredible ones out there. For whatever reason, this hasn’t been my story." I'm so happy to have stumbled upon your memoir and look forward to reading every bit of it, Kimberly!
I’m starting from the beginning of your memoir, albeit a bit late. I’ve been wrestling with the words ‘recovery’ and ‘cured’ over the last few days. I like to think I’m in recovery, but want to be cured. Then I’m unsure if what ails me is curable, or meant to be managed. Perhaps I’m on the edge of the fine line whereby I’ll be unfixed? Or in perpetual recovery? I’m not sure, but I am looking forward to reading more of your story.
Oh Kim, thank you for sharing your recent grappling with the words "recovery" and "cured." While seemingly celebratory words, they can also carry shame, guilt, confusion and desperation. For myself, I've found a lot more grace with my body in pursuing "living well" instead of "living fixed." Or at least a softening and receptivity to allow life to open in her own way. You may find Suleika Jauoad's book Between Two Kingdom's also helpful—a memoir that encapsulates the in-between spaces of life after her early cancer diagnosis and "recovery."
Hi Kimberly - I love that phrase "the self who never abandons". It's a state I'm trying very hard to cultivate. I've just ordered Pema Chodron's book - thank you. I spend half my time hoping and praying and seeking to get better (chronic fatigue) and the rest of the time thinking I won't. At first I feel blue and low, but then, after a while a resigned acceptance comes over me and I start to think ok, this is your life now, how can you live in this new way? A way that barely anyone else seems to understand and doesn't fit in with society's expectations, of well, anything. It's a very unique space that I'm keen to explore and understand more. Thank you for sharing your story, I'm looking forward to reading more of your work :)
I can so relate to your experience Hannah. Thank you for sharing the complexities of that space you inhabit. Living well instead of living fixed is how it’s finally resolved for me (though on higher symptom days that’s still a challenge.) When our bodies usher in new ways of experiencing life outside of societal expectations it can feel so frustrating and helpless at times - our minds always jumping in saying ‘this cannot be.’ And then other times, the voices quiet, and we open to the nuances of beauty, connection and strength that are harder to access with fully-able bodies. Wishing you more and more of those moments as you explore the complex terrain of chronic illness.
I can so relate to your experience Hannah. Thank you for sharing the complexities of that space you inhabit. Living well instead of living fixed is how it’s finally resolved for me (though on higher symptom days that’s still a challenge.) When our bodies usher in new ways of experiencing life outside of societal expectations it can feel so frustrating and helpless at times - our minds always jumping in saying ‘this cannot be.’ And then other times, the voices quiet, and we open to the nuances of beauty, connection and strength that are harder to access with fully-able bodies. Wishing you more and more of those moments as you explore the complex terrain of chronic illness.
I’m deLighted to hear you “found the refuge of awareness”, the friend who never leaves, thru your suffering, explorations and revelations. Your personal journey gives hope and encouragement to all of us caught in looking for the way out. You’ve shown us that truth lives instead in the way IN.
Kimberly, What a well written. I wanted to say "wonderful" which it is wonderful by the way. But I seem to be a bit sensitive to the word wonderful these days as wonderful has knew meaning to me since I am on my own journey of redefining what that new state of "wonderful" is or means. So yes, wonderful, not in the sense of the ordeal you've gone through but wonderful in your writing, your style, and sharing your journey. I'm looking forward to reading about this journey of yours chapter by chapter. Thank you for sharing! Rex
How dear it is to have a place for all this "memoir launch" nervousness to land! Thank you for your kind words. You are reminding me how many good, supportive, loving hearts are out there.
I loved this:
The idea of embracing “what is” was not part of the self-help, self-actualization dogma I had been raised in. Learning to bear witness, without judgement, to my own suffering has cultivated a patience and tolerance for the human condition that I never had before.
This is seldom said by anyone but within it there is immense wisdom and the scope for actually letting the universe heal you. Thank you!
So happy to have discovered your writing and look forward to reading more about your life. Love these words: “Others are born with a mirror and must find the magic and possibility within the confines of what they’ve been given. These are the ones that will resonate most with my story.” I resonate with your story, and also write about the challenges in my life (especially living with depression, anxiety, and financial insecurity) here: https://wendigordon.Substack.com . I had to reach the point where I wanted to die to be able to rediscover my authentic self and listen to her voice above others’.
Thank you for opening yourself up to me Wendi. It’s comforting to find other humans who are gently walking similar paths/philosophies. I just subscribed to your substack and am very much looking forward to reading your essays. 🙏
Yes, it is so comforting and helpful to find kindred spirits on similar journeys, and there are lots of us writing on Substack. Thanks for subscribing to mine!
Oh, my heart . I love love love those words as well . I identify deeply to the “mirror” and “finding the magic and possibility within the confines of what they’ve been given.” If I may , I feel compelled to take this as my mantra , as a reminder, that so much is possible even within unexpected confines . Thank you , Kimberly. I’m grateful I found you . 🥹🙏🏻
Dearest Sarah, thank you for your sincere reflection and mirroring. Illness certainly puts a lot of borders on a life once untethered, but I've found it essential to find that box of possibility within those confines and nourish them as much as we possibly can. xo
So beautiful, so raw and real. I'm compelled to read more and can't wait to read as this story unfolds.
Thank you for taking a moment to read this Sarah! This is my first adventure into sharing some of my most private vulnerabilities with strangers so it's very warm and reassuring to hear your feedback and enthusiasm. P.S. I'm a HUGE fan of NY Times cooking columns and have found that most of my printer paper goes toward printing out their recipes so I have no doubt many of them are yours. ;) Thank you for sharing your culinary talents with me!
I'm thrilled to hear this! I look forward to more exchanges as we get to know each other's work.
Me too!
Kimberly, I want to add that I was deeply moved by this preface. And as a poetry lover, I look forward to all that you write here.
Your comments and presence here are so appreciated Mary. And there you are, pinging on my first few chapters. So fun to tangle up our timelines together! I'm feeling deeply into your memoir and look forward each evening to reading more. I just learned yesterday than I can send substack posts to my Kindle and I really need to figure that out now because I find myself wanting to binge read yours right before bed. ;)
Talk about making my day, so needed on this particular day.
“The self who is always still, patient, loving and inclusive. And she is right here in my own awareness. I am discovering the ride to be so much less frightening knowing that no matter what happens in life, I have a refuge.”
Resonating with me big time right now. I’m so glad you found me here, so that I could find you 💛
Me too. xo
Just reading this preface is so encouraging. This is Synchronosophy!
Thank you so much for living and sharing your story 💕🙏
Right? Synchronosophy indeed! I'm delighted to have discovered you and look forward to poring through more of your essays this weekend. Thank you for being here with me!
Likewise! And I'm looking forward to going on a ride with you on your journey. I feel we're talking the same language (albeit in different 'made-up words'). Much love and gratitude back to you 💕🙏
Just happened to reread this from someone else’s restack. You are definitely the teacher I’m going to get quiet around. ❤️
Norwegian Death Metal would be ok too.
Hi! Looking forward to reading your memoir + I just subscribed. Is your memoir also available to purchase in book form? My apologies if you go over that somewhere else on here that I have not read yet. Thank you! jenn
Hello Jen! So nice to have you here... and hearty THANK YOU for your paid subscription! Someday I'd like to say it will be available in hard copy, but currently, Substack is the only place it's published. I have added "next chapter" links to the bottom of each entry though so it's easy to flip through. (Though admittedly, I prefer a nice smelling book-in-hand. ;)
Thank you! Happy to keep reading in whatever format you have it in. Appreciate your work! =)
That's so kind of you Jenn. I appreciate you bringing your mind and heart to the material. ;)
Just came across your Substack this morning. Our stories have remarkable parallels but also told from totally different perspectives. Intriguing. I’ve called my memoir My Mother’s Ghosts. https://open.substack.com/pub/johnmoyermedlpcncc/p/my-mothers-ghosts?r=3p5dh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
So good to meet you John! Always appreciate connecting with those who get the parental misattributions on a cellular level. Looking forward to reading your story!
So many echoes of my own experience, Kimberly, but from such different angles - I can't wait to dig in to "Unfixed" - you've been on a remarkable journey. Must also check out "The Wisdom of No Escape."
Yes! A must-have guide for when everything goes to shit. :) And likewise, looking forward to the dig. May your former Jello-Mold emotional modeling be presently making colorful messes in this world with your prose.
Ha! They are colorful, I'll give them that... 🤪
Wow! Why did I just start reading your work now? "This story is for the ones who have felt abandoned by Western medicine, natural medicine, gods, goddesses, and green drinks. Our culture is obsessed with fixer upper stories. And there are some incredible ones out there. For whatever reason, this hasn’t been my story." I'm so happy to have stumbled upon your memoir and look forward to reading every bit of it, Kimberly!
How wonderful to cross paths!!!! I, too, am looking forward to reading your essays. Your bio description sold me.:)
Yes, it is. That’s wonderful to hear! Thank you.
Hi Kimberly.
I’m starting from the beginning of your memoir, albeit a bit late. I’ve been wrestling with the words ‘recovery’ and ‘cured’ over the last few days. I like to think I’m in recovery, but want to be cured. Then I’m unsure if what ails me is curable, or meant to be managed. Perhaps I’m on the edge of the fine line whereby I’ll be unfixed? Or in perpetual recovery? I’m not sure, but I am looking forward to reading more of your story.
Sending you my best.
Oh Kim, thank you for sharing your recent grappling with the words "recovery" and "cured." While seemingly celebratory words, they can also carry shame, guilt, confusion and desperation. For myself, I've found a lot more grace with my body in pursuing "living well" instead of "living fixed." Or at least a softening and receptivity to allow life to open in her own way. You may find Suleika Jauoad's book Between Two Kingdom's also helpful—a memoir that encapsulates the in-between spaces of life after her early cancer diagnosis and "recovery."
Hi Kimberly - I love that phrase "the self who never abandons". It's a state I'm trying very hard to cultivate. I've just ordered Pema Chodron's book - thank you. I spend half my time hoping and praying and seeking to get better (chronic fatigue) and the rest of the time thinking I won't. At first I feel blue and low, but then, after a while a resigned acceptance comes over me and I start to think ok, this is your life now, how can you live in this new way? A way that barely anyone else seems to understand and doesn't fit in with society's expectations, of well, anything. It's a very unique space that I'm keen to explore and understand more. Thank you for sharing your story, I'm looking forward to reading more of your work :)
I can so relate to your experience Hannah. Thank you for sharing the complexities of that space you inhabit. Living well instead of living fixed is how it’s finally resolved for me (though on higher symptom days that’s still a challenge.) When our bodies usher in new ways of experiencing life outside of societal expectations it can feel so frustrating and helpless at times - our minds always jumping in saying ‘this cannot be.’ And then other times, the voices quiet, and we open to the nuances of beauty, connection and strength that are harder to access with fully-able bodies. Wishing you more and more of those moments as you explore the complex terrain of chronic illness.
I can so relate to your experience Hannah. Thank you for sharing the complexities of that space you inhabit. Living well instead of living fixed is how it’s finally resolved for me (though on higher symptom days that’s still a challenge.) When our bodies usher in new ways of experiencing life outside of societal expectations it can feel so frustrating and helpless at times - our minds always jumping in saying ‘this cannot be.’ And then other times, the voices quiet, and we open to the nuances of beauty, connection and strength that are harder to access with fully-able bodies. Wishing you more and more of those moments as you explore the complex terrain of chronic illness.
I’m deLighted to hear you “found the refuge of awareness”, the friend who never leaves, thru your suffering, explorations and revelations. Your personal journey gives hope and encouragement to all of us caught in looking for the way out. You’ve shown us that truth lives instead in the way IN.