Wonderful! Thank goodness you've ventured into the forest of fiction, Kimberly. What a brilliant device to make us think twice about the nature of Darkness, I loved the Spirit Of Darkness, the voice, the expanding and being sliced by light.
"humans love to brandish light like a sword, wielding certainty at my center. But they misunderstand; there is no greater certainty than me." Oh so true, behind the flicker of life is the everlasting darkness.
Taking a brave leap (in the dark) was worth it for you landed perfectly! Thanks Kimberly. I look forward to more.
What a generous comment. Thank you for seeing and celebrating this “brave leap” into the dark. As I digest the comments over here I’m realizing just how meta this story was for me, taking my own first step into the uncertain territory of fiction and trusting the unknown to take me somewhere entirely new (and thrilling.) So grateful for your deep, thoughtful reading Jonathan.
I love the mystery in this, the layers of joy and grief, light and darkness. The forest as a place of discovery reminded me of David Wagoner’s poem, “Lost.” “The forest knows where you are. / You must let it find you.” My favorite things about this story are how immersive it is, and that it defies explanation. The complexity of life and death co-exist in unknowable dimensions. Brava!
Oh what a lovely reflection Julie. Thank you. I wonder if that immersive quality is experienced when we allow our bodies to tell the story? I felt like I needed to do a lot of listening for this one to emerge.
The stories you explored this past summer writing the earth’s POV were remarkably beautiful and memorable. Animism breathes new life into this human experience, and the adventure of listening for these undiscovered voices is quite satisfying. I hope you write more in the future!
Ah, the personification of darkness . Giving emotions attached to nurturing, grief , loneliness, maybe even longing, joy, and almost maternal ,or paternal.
“I am here, not as an absence but a presence—an inner strength that reveals what brightness blinds.”
“ I balance on the gloaming, summersault into shadows, stretch a wide asana over valley and hill. Can she feel my playful beckoning?”
When I was in high school, I had an amazing Ecology teacher, an innovator. He gathered his students for a night time ‘field trip’. We walked a flash-lighted path into the deep forest ,until we came to a clearing. He instructed us to sit in a circle, turn out our lights. So deep was the night, a hand in front of a face could not be seen. Scared, we listened to his voice. He told us , soon he would stop talking and we must sit in silence, no laughing, no screaming, nothing. Just listen. He taught us to never be afraid when the woods come alive at night. He stood and walked away from us while our eyes were closed. Teaching us the sound of human steps on the forest floor. I cannot say I am consistently calm in the blackness of the night, but I still hear his voice and remember his words.
You bravely reached into the black depths with a fictional hand and met darkness . Brilliantly trying something old and something new, well done!
“He told us to never be afraid when the forest came alive at night.” I’m so moved by this incredible teacher of yours! His presence of mind to offer his students an experience of the wild so maligned and misunderstood. Is our fear of the dark rooted simply in our ability to not see? Or is it something else, something more complex and existential, like the uncertainties we face time and again throughout life. I don’t know, but for you to get a visceral experience of safety, curiosity, friendliness and warmth in the darkness seems like something that might last a lifetime, or at least take up some real estate in your nervous system when the fear enters.
Dearest Lor, how can I thank you enough for reaching through the dark to hold my “fictional hand” and give it your steadfast, loving squeeze.
I had this crazy thought. Maybe someday , when Claire is older , her life experiences leave her with questions ( could she be ‘unfixed’ ?) So she returns to her friend, for comfort and answers. The story starts with the lyrics of an old song. Maybe darkness in turn, defends her. I’ll let you play with the various twists and turns. At the very least, an interesting part two…🤔
“Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again. Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping. And the vision that was planted in my brain. Still remains Within the sound of silence.” ~ Paul Simon
Omg. Yes. I love feeling into the evolution of their relationship. There are some paralleling themes here, of course, with my memoir. And even before the “big darkness”, I was already moving toward a sense that the light of knowledge, the known and perfection were hurting me. A short film I made played with this theme and opens with a young ballerina sharing her poem:
Kimberly, I feel privileged to be the first person to comment about, and possibly the first person to read, this beautifully written story. It reminds me of the chills running up and down my spine when a very young me saw my first solar eclipse. Other dark things come to mind, like the life of my father, who had a workplace accident when I was six months old that left him legally blind. He adjusted well, but not being able to drive anymore or throw a ball with his boys, not able to teach us to drive or play sports, ultimately left him feeling bitter and lonely, even though he and my mother loved each other and stayed together until his death. Also coming to mind are two wonderful black cats that I’ve had the pleasure of inviting to share our home and our lives. First was Penny, full name Lady Penelope Kingsbury, who was two when we adopted her and spent almost nineteen more years enriching my life. My wife loves cats but she’s not crazy about females. We adopted Penny over her strong misgivings, and that little lady slept right up against my chest every night for the rest of her precious life, feeling the beat of my heart as she slept. The other black cat is a girl too, and she’s sleeping on my lap right now. We got her just before Christmas six years ago, and the shelter people were honest about what we were getting ourselves in for. Black cat, with asthma, had been in four different shelters, adopted and quickly returned twice because she bites, offered for the meager adoption donation of $25. I could see it was just about the end of the line for this little girl with the clunky name Belinda. I felt privileged to be able to offer a forever home to this beautiful creature who was really down on her luck. We quickly changed her name to Daisy, and she answered quickly to her new name. Six years later she’s doing well in her forever home. Thanks for taking the plunge into sharing some of your fiction. I’m very impressed by your ability to turn such a simple thing into a fine story. This was fascinating to me and I’ll surely share it and read it again sometime soon, as I’m sure there are secrets that I’m not able to unlock the first time through. This definitely earned a share and restack. ‘Bye for now!
So grateful for your reflections Rafael. Sounds like your father knew the nuances of darkness like no other. I’ve read that individuals with blindness experience so many textures and variations to our singular experience of darkness. It must’ve been terrifying and frustrating to learn to live without sight as an adult.
I love that you bring your black cats into this reflection too. They sure know how to navigate darkness, their silky bodies almost inseparable from the night, folding in and out of our more human dimension.
Thanks for your patient, attentive reading. I know I tend to avoid being too explicit in my writing and that that requires slower reading, but I sure appreciate it when you do, and I hope it’s worth it.:)
Wow, wow, wow, Kimberly! You are absolutely a fiction writer. I'm so ecstatic you shared your fiction piece that feels so close to life that lines feel blurry. The perspective of the narrator is truly innovative too. Darkness is given a voice, and how unexpected the tone is. Thank you so much for this and for the sweet shout-out. :-*
I cherish your feedback Nadia, I see you as masterful in the craft so to hear your impressions means the world. Indeed, the “unexpected tone” of darkness was a central intention in this piece. I really hoped readers would walk away and feel an opening, a warmth, moving into fear’s wake.
Kimberly!!! You are uncontrollably brilliant! I think I've said that before so it must be true...
I felt all the emotional shadows of childhood fears of darkness and death leaping out of your story wrapping me in age old fears and yet courage too...
“ I balance on the gloaming, summersault into shadows, stretch a wide asana over valley and hill. Can she feel my playful beckoning?”
I did, I still do... I battle with the dilemma but darkness wins!
I love this, I love that you were encouraged by Nathan (both The Sernox and Skrimshander are unforgettable stories of fiction) I love that you were brave!
Oh luv, your encouraging embrace is felt and cherished. I remember those childhood fears well and it was fun to reimagine my younger self into scenes where darkness was a living presence, waiting for the invitation. I’ve found myself wondering if it’s natural to fear the dark or is it taught? If our first embrace was in the dark womb, wouldn’t it be the brazen light and its cutting separation be more feared than darkness? It’s puzzling.
I must admit, this wholly warm community were a party of makes bravery feel easy, and fun.
Thank you thank you for being such a loving voice in this hearth.
Kimberly, this is sooooo so good. I’m so glad you took the leap. Now I want to imagine all of the in defenses this way—from bitter’s perspective, from fog’s and so on. Brilliant.
I loved the line about brandishing light like a sword. Mmmm. Just one spot among delicious dark ones here.
As a lover of darkness, I was very excited when I saw this title. And your fiction did not disappoint.
(Also, I couldn’t help but notice the connections in our posts today—the swords, the imaginative paintings, the coyotes—and be delighted.)
It’s funny, as I prepared each previous essay, I’d inhabit the quality and joy down notes about how it lives and feels, I just never thought to then write from that perspective in the actual essay! This was fun, scary, and oh so challenging. Thank you for your deeply encouraging words. And I love that our posts this Sunday meandered through the dark with swords of light and howls to accompany!
This feels like such a natural progression, Kimberly. And you clearly take to fiction like you do memoir…beautifully. I hung on every word. Well done. For your first foray, you’ve hit it out of the park… or forest! 🤍🩷🤍
Thank you Kim, I don’t know if it felt natural to me, or perhaps as natural as a long, hard childbirth! Bloody, uncertain, painful, but oh so rewarding. I especially struggled at first when the first person was the little girl. Maybe too easy to fall into cliché? Things started to flow a lot better once I switched out of her perspective and into darkness. So much more creatively liberating.:)
This reminds me of a story akin to what the genius Kelly Link might write... she's always playing with point of view and sound in such artful, unexpected way. What a marvelous debut :)
I’m ashamed to say I don’t know Kelly Link’s work! Can you recommend a favorite? I’m eager to learn more. Thank you for your ever-insightful presence here Alisa. I appreciate you so much.
Oh gosh, there’s her latest novel… The Book of Love - here’s a review: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/12/books/review/kelly-link-the-book-of-love.html But I started with her stories… Get in Trouble was my introduction. There’s also Stranger Thing Happen, White Cat, Back Dog, and Magic For Beginners. Her imagination is unbounded. :)
Masterfully done. This is a piece that rewards multiple read-throughs to embrace the meaning of the darkness, but also the balance you speak of. "And then stands tall, taller, while her senses sparkling with both light and me—balanced—guide her home."
Thank you for your lovely kind words, I feel so lucky we connected via this platform. 🤗
Ahhh, the thank you is returned ten-fold Nathan. You honestly gave me the courage to share, I don’t think I would have without your encouragement. And how cool that you picked up on that balance at the end. I think I rewrote/edited that section after I had already shared the draft with you but it felt like something was missing without it. “Light” said, Hey, I want to play too.
Kimberly, this is excellent! Choosing to write from the perspective of darkness makes this story very powerful, much more than if it was from the child's eyes I think. I love how darkness is portrayed as a warm, loving caretaker that she can turn to, who wants to be with her. Also, the fleeting mention of her mother is very well done, it pulls at the heart of the reader while allowing the depth of emotion to settle where it will without needing to navigate the character.
Ohhhh! I so value your feedback Donna. I did spend some time developing the mother more but then felt like I was leading the reader too much. Being new to this genre I felt especially cautious about falling into cliché and tropes. I shared in another comment that something freed up when I finally switched the POV over to Darkness, finally, my brain could discover new territory instead of relying on old synapses. That was a thrilling moment. I suppose in a way, I was proving my In Defense of the Dark, by allowing myself to go “dark” in order to find my way. 😊
What a fascinating read! I am thrilled and delighted that you hurled yourself into the defense of the dark ~ where we so often fear to tread ~ to help "reveal what brightness blinds".
Truly inspiring. And so well written! A brilliant addition to your collection.
Could there be a piece on In defense of self-doubt in the pipeline? 😉
You know, I have a long list of subjects to “defend” and self-doubt isn’t anywhere on the list, but oh how juicy! I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read your comment yesterday and I feel how much this quality wants to come out and play. Thank you for sharing this idea friend! You are a brilliant assimilator of ideas, using both intuition and knowledge to bring them into new depths of meaning.
Wonderful! Thank goodness you've ventured into the forest of fiction, Kimberly. What a brilliant device to make us think twice about the nature of Darkness, I loved the Spirit Of Darkness, the voice, the expanding and being sliced by light.
"humans love to brandish light like a sword, wielding certainty at my center. But they misunderstand; there is no greater certainty than me." Oh so true, behind the flicker of life is the everlasting darkness.
Taking a brave leap (in the dark) was worth it for you landed perfectly! Thanks Kimberly. I look forward to more.
What a generous comment. Thank you for seeing and celebrating this “brave leap” into the dark. As I digest the comments over here I’m realizing just how meta this story was for me, taking my own first step into the uncertain territory of fiction and trusting the unknown to take me somewhere entirely new (and thrilling.) So grateful for your deep, thoughtful reading Jonathan.
I love the mystery in this, the layers of joy and grief, light and darkness. The forest as a place of discovery reminded me of David Wagoner’s poem, “Lost.” “The forest knows where you are. / You must let it find you.” My favorite things about this story are how immersive it is, and that it defies explanation. The complexity of life and death co-exist in unknowable dimensions. Brava!
Oh what a lovely reflection Julie. Thank you. I wonder if that immersive quality is experienced when we allow our bodies to tell the story? I felt like I needed to do a lot of listening for this one to emerge.
The stories you explored this past summer writing the earth’s POV were remarkably beautiful and memorable. Animism breathes new life into this human experience, and the adventure of listening for these undiscovered voices is quite satisfying. I hope you write more in the future!
On it! I’ll be serializing my novel starting in January.
Oh wonderful!!!!
Loved reading this as the darkness comes to light. And I love the poem at the top. I never saw that before.
Now there’s a brilliant phrase: “as the darkness comes to light.” Well done Deirdre, that’s a mic drop.
A story told in first , dare I say person?
Ah, the personification of darkness . Giving emotions attached to nurturing, grief , loneliness, maybe even longing, joy, and almost maternal ,or paternal.
“I am here, not as an absence but a presence—an inner strength that reveals what brightness blinds.”
“ I balance on the gloaming, summersault into shadows, stretch a wide asana over valley and hill. Can she feel my playful beckoning?”
When I was in high school, I had an amazing Ecology teacher, an innovator. He gathered his students for a night time ‘field trip’. We walked a flash-lighted path into the deep forest ,until we came to a clearing. He instructed us to sit in a circle, turn out our lights. So deep was the night, a hand in front of a face could not be seen. Scared, we listened to his voice. He told us , soon he would stop talking and we must sit in silence, no laughing, no screaming, nothing. Just listen. He taught us to never be afraid when the woods come alive at night. He stood and walked away from us while our eyes were closed. Teaching us the sound of human steps on the forest floor. I cannot say I am consistently calm in the blackness of the night, but I still hear his voice and remember his words.
You bravely reached into the black depths with a fictional hand and met darkness . Brilliantly trying something old and something new, well done!
“He told us to never be afraid when the forest came alive at night.” I’m so moved by this incredible teacher of yours! His presence of mind to offer his students an experience of the wild so maligned and misunderstood. Is our fear of the dark rooted simply in our ability to not see? Or is it something else, something more complex and existential, like the uncertainties we face time and again throughout life. I don’t know, but for you to get a visceral experience of safety, curiosity, friendliness and warmth in the darkness seems like something that might last a lifetime, or at least take up some real estate in your nervous system when the fear enters.
Dearest Lor, how can I thank you enough for reaching through the dark to hold my “fictional hand” and give it your steadfast, loving squeeze.
I had this crazy thought. Maybe someday , when Claire is older , her life experiences leave her with questions ( could she be ‘unfixed’ ?) So she returns to her friend, for comfort and answers. The story starts with the lyrics of an old song. Maybe darkness in turn, defends her. I’ll let you play with the various twists and turns. At the very least, an interesting part two…🤔
“Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again. Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping. And the vision that was planted in my brain. Still remains Within the sound of silence.” ~ Paul Simon
Omg. Yes. I love feeling into the evolution of their relationship. There are some paralleling themes here, of course, with my memoir. And even before the “big darkness”, I was already moving toward a sense that the light of knowledge, the known and perfection were hurting me. A short film I made played with this theme and opens with a young ballerina sharing her poem:
One ordinary night
A girl dressed white
Made her mark
And faced the dark
And found it kinder than the light.
Kimberly, I feel privileged to be the first person to comment about, and possibly the first person to read, this beautifully written story. It reminds me of the chills running up and down my spine when a very young me saw my first solar eclipse. Other dark things come to mind, like the life of my father, who had a workplace accident when I was six months old that left him legally blind. He adjusted well, but not being able to drive anymore or throw a ball with his boys, not able to teach us to drive or play sports, ultimately left him feeling bitter and lonely, even though he and my mother loved each other and stayed together until his death. Also coming to mind are two wonderful black cats that I’ve had the pleasure of inviting to share our home and our lives. First was Penny, full name Lady Penelope Kingsbury, who was two when we adopted her and spent almost nineteen more years enriching my life. My wife loves cats but she’s not crazy about females. We adopted Penny over her strong misgivings, and that little lady slept right up against my chest every night for the rest of her precious life, feeling the beat of my heart as she slept. The other black cat is a girl too, and she’s sleeping on my lap right now. We got her just before Christmas six years ago, and the shelter people were honest about what we were getting ourselves in for. Black cat, with asthma, had been in four different shelters, adopted and quickly returned twice because she bites, offered for the meager adoption donation of $25. I could see it was just about the end of the line for this little girl with the clunky name Belinda. I felt privileged to be able to offer a forever home to this beautiful creature who was really down on her luck. We quickly changed her name to Daisy, and she answered quickly to her new name. Six years later she’s doing well in her forever home. Thanks for taking the plunge into sharing some of your fiction. I’m very impressed by your ability to turn such a simple thing into a fine story. This was fascinating to me and I’ll surely share it and read it again sometime soon, as I’m sure there are secrets that I’m not able to unlock the first time through. This definitely earned a share and restack. ‘Bye for now!
So grateful for your reflections Rafael. Sounds like your father knew the nuances of darkness like no other. I’ve read that individuals with blindness experience so many textures and variations to our singular experience of darkness. It must’ve been terrifying and frustrating to learn to live without sight as an adult.
I love that you bring your black cats into this reflection too. They sure know how to navigate darkness, their silky bodies almost inseparable from the night, folding in and out of our more human dimension.
Thanks for your patient, attentive reading. I know I tend to avoid being too explicit in my writing and that that requires slower reading, but I sure appreciate it when you do, and I hope it’s worth it.:)
Unlocking the metaphors and symbols in good writing is definitely worth the effort!
You had me with the Wendell Berry quote.
One of my all-time favorites!
Wow, wow, wow, Kimberly! You are absolutely a fiction writer. I'm so ecstatic you shared your fiction piece that feels so close to life that lines feel blurry. The perspective of the narrator is truly innovative too. Darkness is given a voice, and how unexpected the tone is. Thank you so much for this and for the sweet shout-out. :-*
I cherish your feedback Nadia, I see you as masterful in the craft so to hear your impressions means the world. Indeed, the “unexpected tone” of darkness was a central intention in this piece. I really hoped readers would walk away and feel an opening, a warmth, moving into fear’s wake.
Oh wow. Kimberly. This is most excellent. Each line pulled me into the next.
I loved it.
Oh yay! Thanks for allowing yourself to be pulled in!
Kimberly!!! You are uncontrollably brilliant! I think I've said that before so it must be true...
I felt all the emotional shadows of childhood fears of darkness and death leaping out of your story wrapping me in age old fears and yet courage too...
“ I balance on the gloaming, summersault into shadows, stretch a wide asana over valley and hill. Can she feel my playful beckoning?”
I did, I still do... I battle with the dilemma but darkness wins!
I love this, I love that you were encouraged by Nathan (both The Sernox and Skrimshander are unforgettable stories of fiction) I love that you were brave!
Oh luv, your encouraging embrace is felt and cherished. I remember those childhood fears well and it was fun to reimagine my younger self into scenes where darkness was a living presence, waiting for the invitation. I’ve found myself wondering if it’s natural to fear the dark or is it taught? If our first embrace was in the dark womb, wouldn’t it be the brazen light and its cutting separation be more feared than darkness? It’s puzzling.
I must admit, this wholly warm community were a party of makes bravery feel easy, and fun.
Thank you thank you for being such a loving voice in this hearth.
This is fantastic, Kimberly. Bravo! I’m so happy you finally gave yourself permission to write some fiction.
Thank you friend! This means a lot to hear coming from you.:)
Kimberly, this is sooooo so good. I’m so glad you took the leap. Now I want to imagine all of the in defenses this way—from bitter’s perspective, from fog’s and so on. Brilliant.
I loved the line about brandishing light like a sword. Mmmm. Just one spot among delicious dark ones here.
As a lover of darkness, I was very excited when I saw this title. And your fiction did not disappoint.
(Also, I couldn’t help but notice the connections in our posts today—the swords, the imaginative paintings, the coyotes—and be delighted.)
It’s funny, as I prepared each previous essay, I’d inhabit the quality and joy down notes about how it lives and feels, I just never thought to then write from that perspective in the actual essay! This was fun, scary, and oh so challenging. Thank you for your deeply encouraging words. And I love that our posts this Sunday meandered through the dark with swords of light and howls to accompany!
This feels like such a natural progression, Kimberly. And you clearly take to fiction like you do memoir…beautifully. I hung on every word. Well done. For your first foray, you’ve hit it out of the park… or forest! 🤍🩷🤍
Thank you Kim, I don’t know if it felt natural to me, or perhaps as natural as a long, hard childbirth! Bloody, uncertain, painful, but oh so rewarding. I especially struggled at first when the first person was the little girl. Maybe too easy to fall into cliché? Things started to flow a lot better once I switched out of her perspective and into darkness. So much more creatively liberating.:)
This reminds me of a story akin to what the genius Kelly Link might write... she's always playing with point of view and sound in such artful, unexpected way. What a marvelous debut :)
I’m ashamed to say I don’t know Kelly Link’s work! Can you recommend a favorite? I’m eager to learn more. Thank you for your ever-insightful presence here Alisa. I appreciate you so much.
Oh gosh, there’s her latest novel… The Book of Love - here’s a review: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/12/books/review/kelly-link-the-book-of-love.html But I started with her stories… Get in Trouble was my introduction. There’s also Stranger Thing Happen, White Cat, Back Dog, and Magic For Beginners. Her imagination is unbounded. :)
Will you be my mentor/sister/guru/chef/personal comedienne?
Haha... I will always be your sister :) Love you!
So excited to see this published, Kimberly!
Masterfully done. This is a piece that rewards multiple read-throughs to embrace the meaning of the darkness, but also the balance you speak of. "And then stands tall, taller, while her senses sparkling with both light and me—balanced—guide her home."
Thank you for your lovely kind words, I feel so lucky we connected via this platform. 🤗
Ahhh, the thank you is returned ten-fold Nathan. You honestly gave me the courage to share, I don’t think I would have without your encouragement. And how cool that you picked up on that balance at the end. I think I rewrote/edited that section after I had already shared the draft with you but it felt like something was missing without it. “Light” said, Hey, I want to play too.
You struck that balance and it totally worked. 😊
Kimberly, this is excellent! Choosing to write from the perspective of darkness makes this story very powerful, much more than if it was from the child's eyes I think. I love how darkness is portrayed as a warm, loving caretaker that she can turn to, who wants to be with her. Also, the fleeting mention of her mother is very well done, it pulls at the heart of the reader while allowing the depth of emotion to settle where it will without needing to navigate the character.
Ohhhh! I so value your feedback Donna. I did spend some time developing the mother more but then felt like I was leading the reader too much. Being new to this genre I felt especially cautious about falling into cliché and tropes. I shared in another comment that something freed up when I finally switched the POV over to Darkness, finally, my brain could discover new territory instead of relying on old synapses. That was a thrilling moment. I suppose in a way, I was proving my In Defense of the Dark, by allowing myself to go “dark” in order to find my way. 😊
Well done trusting the process! I find it difficult to avoid falling into cliche and trope and I've never tried fiction🤣
Well, I’ll be right by your side with an encouraging smile if you decide to try.:)
What a fascinating read! I am thrilled and delighted that you hurled yourself into the defense of the dark ~ where we so often fear to tread ~ to help "reveal what brightness blinds".
Truly inspiring. And so well written! A brilliant addition to your collection.
Could there be a piece on In defense of self-doubt in the pipeline? 😉
You know, I have a long list of subjects to “defend” and self-doubt isn’t anywhere on the list, but oh how juicy! I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read your comment yesterday and I feel how much this quality wants to come out and play. Thank you for sharing this idea friend! You are a brilliant assimilator of ideas, using both intuition and knowledge to bring them into new depths of meaning.