My grandma, who I thought was beautiful, radiated crow’s feet each time she smiled. So naturally, as a kid, I’d scrunch my eyes so that I could look more like her. Eventually, happily, I succeeded.
Well that’s such a refreshing thing to hear. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I love hearing when a human’s inner knowing can’t be touched by cultural trends.
Beautiful. I just came back from a trip to the wilds of Port Renfrew on the west coast of Vancouver Island. Ion the day I left, I had awoken to the notion I was bobbing and floating, dizzy when I was still and tried to focus on the ceiling it flipped and warbled. I thought of you. I thought of how moving and driving helped you. I thought of how much I needed and wanted to get away into wilderness.
The opening descriptions of this essay made me smile. It reflected everything I saw on my hikes down to Botanical Beach. The roots, rocks, moss, land formations from thousands of years of the universe making her magic.
I love this essay. Sharing it with my daughter whose generation is as you describe. She just turned 36 and her beautiful face is just the way God and the universe intended. I will try not to be too, “just say no to Botox.” 😂😜🐦⬛
Oh my Kim! You experienced a bit of my inner maelstrom! I hope it passed. If not, I’ll head to your house now so we can go on a long road trip. 😉 I’ve had a particular bad couple weeks of dizziness and am finally coming out of it myself.
I’m so glad you spent time with the smiling earth, feeling her magic. It’s nice to know my words/exploration connected to some of that peace you felt. The earth really is masterful with aging.
This is so sweet and wild, Kim, and such a great snippet: "it reaches back in time / when spirit and matter burst into two / infinite ripples of mirth / creating you, you and you..." And those Jeremy Enecio drawings! Thank you for sharing those, and for the vote of hope. I once knew a woman who would hold her face down when she laughed so she wouldn't get crow's feet, I made it my personal mission to laugh even harder. 🤣
"I gladly join their plea every time I smile." THIS!!!!
Yay for 50! I always hear great things about the decade. Your mama is so damn stunning especially with those smile lines! This was such a delight to read. We need MORE OF THIS. More women embracing aging and celebrating well earned kitten's whiskers (loooove that). I loathe the way American culture deals with aging. It also makes me sad how terrified it makes some people. It truly is a privilege. Yes, aging is hella weird but it def is not the worst.
I've never done botox and I don't think I ever will. The idea of not being able to move my face fully is not something I ever want to willingly do to myself AND it atrophies your muscles. Plus once you do it, you have to keep doing it. Not for me. Give me strong muscles, give me movement!
Hells yeah Jenovia! If we replaced one gorgeous kitten whisker smile for every 10 frozen, airbrushed, filtered faces we see in media, I don't think it would take long for women (and men) to start seeing how absurd it all is. It's just a matter of conditioning, expanding our definition of what aging and living fully means and how it looks. I just watched the doc on Jim Henson and even his Muppets have more facial expressions than what I see in the media! Give me Kermit the Frog charisma any day. :)
Beautiful read—and timely for me. I’m turning 50 late this summer. Embracing aging with a fun sense of curiosity seems to be a good approach. It would actually feel disturbing to keep looking the same age while everyone else around me kept looking older. Loved all the fun tidbits you wove into this piece!
Thanks Daphne! Toasting us both into our fifth decade! It was fun to write… my memoir didn’t often require as much research so it’s been fun to have a more “topic based” exercise, makes me feel a bit like I’m in college again. :)
Dearest Kimberly, I couldn't quite believe the timing of your wise and wonderful words! I read this essay on Sunday evening after celebrating the day of my 60th birthday with a dear friend. Crows feet were very present... beautifully formed over the years of our friendship and spoken of with laughter and relief at having the chance to still be able, we wrote haiku in the meadow giving thanks for our life - I wish I could send you a photo here, I wish you could have joined us.
Victor Borge. said “The smile is the shortest distance between two persons”
The distance may be far, as it was for the majority of years for my friend and I, but I am sending you a smile, I am adding to my "Scars of accumulated joy" as I hope to add to yours. xxx
How fun! It sounds like a beautiful ushering in of a new decade. And writing haiku in a meadow and giving thanks for life? I might have to steal that one on my 50th. So glad the timing worked out so that, unbeknownst to me, I got to sneak in a celebrate a bit with you too. Feeling the depth of friendship and appreciation and respect and awe and and and I have developed for this community of writers on substack is overwhelming at times... and the distance IS too far. I have a hunch if we all were near, we'd form a commune and the rest would be history. But I smile as I type this, in response to yours, and feel how we bend time and space to commune in our hearts. So much love.
At first I thought of literal crow feet, but then I remembered, there is such a thing as crow's feet on our faces. I find them quite fascinating, because they evolve over time and are different looking for everyone. This is such a beautiful piece on normalizing aging and not being afraid of smiling. Indeed, we are our happiest when we beam and laugh.
I love that your brain first went to the actual bird. ;) Now that's a sign of a healthy human. Thank you for your kind feedback, it was a fun rabbit hole to fall into this past month. I knew intuitively that smiling felt good but had no clue of all the research to back it up!
Healthy at least in mind - haha! ;-) Indeed, even when we start by faking it, it becomes second nature over time. So many benefits just from smiling. Thank you for such a wonderful, gorgeous, thoughtful work as always.
This was full of so much amazing info, Kimberly (and beautifully written, of course). Wow. I learnt a lot. Embrace those crows! The smile is so much in and around the eyes.
Plus, always a fan of lore: "Koga Nvwati, believes the crow is a shape-shifter and keeper of all sacred law, protecting and promoting the ancient knowledge that physical and spiritual worlds are not separate." So cool.
Isn’t that artwork stunning? Took my breath away the first time I saw it. Then did a search for the artist and his other works are quite surreal and often horrific, so it made me second guess my interpretation. But no matter, I’m sticking with it!
“I gladly join their plea every time I smile.” I broke into a grin with this line.
This piece is so good, Kimberly. it shines like the joy on the face of your gorgeous mom in her smiling photo. may we all embrace the lines joy has etched into us!
My grandma, who I thought was beautiful, radiated crow’s feet each time she smiled. So naturally, as a kid, I’d scrunch my eyes so that I could look more like her. Eventually, happily, I succeeded.
Grandma Larson?! She sure did have a twinkly smile.
It never occurred to me to not admire them.
Well that’s such a refreshing thing to hear. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I love hearing when a human’s inner knowing can’t be touched by cultural trends.
Was just startled tbh. But I suspect my ‘inner knowing’ was not so much innate wisdom as it was/is a cultural feature.
Beautiful. I just came back from a trip to the wilds of Port Renfrew on the west coast of Vancouver Island. Ion the day I left, I had awoken to the notion I was bobbing and floating, dizzy when I was still and tried to focus on the ceiling it flipped and warbled. I thought of you. I thought of how moving and driving helped you. I thought of how much I needed and wanted to get away into wilderness.
The opening descriptions of this essay made me smile. It reflected everything I saw on my hikes down to Botanical Beach. The roots, rocks, moss, land formations from thousands of years of the universe making her magic.
I love this essay. Sharing it with my daughter whose generation is as you describe. She just turned 36 and her beautiful face is just the way God and the universe intended. I will try not to be too, “just say no to Botox.” 😂😜🐦⬛
Oh my Kim! You experienced a bit of my inner maelstrom! I hope it passed. If not, I’ll head to your house now so we can go on a long road trip. 😉 I’ve had a particular bad couple weeks of dizziness and am finally coming out of it myself.
I’m so glad you spent time with the smiling earth, feeling her magic. It’s nice to know my words/exploration connected to some of that peace you felt. The earth really is masterful with aging.
OK, OK, OK, you convinced me. I’ll cancel my Botox injections for the week. 😆💉
Thank God Ben. I wrote this piece entirely for you. 😂
I can tell you that men in LA are not canceling their appts. But I've never done it and never will ...
…and Mary, might I add… you are a STUNNER!
Awww ...
😆😆
Love this. It's a good thing to remind ourselves that it is, indeed, a privilege to grow old. Not everyone gets the chance.
A privilege indeed. And certainly one to smile at. Thank you for reading and commenting Maria!
This is so sweet and wild, Kim, and such a great snippet: "it reaches back in time / when spirit and matter burst into two / infinite ripples of mirth / creating you, you and you..." And those Jeremy Enecio drawings! Thank you for sharing those, and for the vote of hope. I once knew a woman who would hold her face down when she laughed so she wouldn't get crow's feet, I made it my personal mission to laugh even harder. 🤣
Oh dear, I hope your response busted her up. That would be painful to watch!
My crows feet expanded more than a few times while reading this!
Absolutely brilliant, Kimberly.
So much interesting information.
So much beautiful writing.
Such a wonderful piece. :)
Thank you friend!
"I gladly join their plea every time I smile." THIS!!!!
Yay for 50! I always hear great things about the decade. Your mama is so damn stunning especially with those smile lines! This was such a delight to read. We need MORE OF THIS. More women embracing aging and celebrating well earned kitten's whiskers (loooove that). I loathe the way American culture deals with aging. It also makes me sad how terrified it makes some people. It truly is a privilege. Yes, aging is hella weird but it def is not the worst.
I've never done botox and I don't think I ever will. The idea of not being able to move my face fully is not something I ever want to willingly do to myself AND it atrophies your muscles. Plus once you do it, you have to keep doing it. Not for me. Give me strong muscles, give me movement!
Hells yeah Jenovia! If we replaced one gorgeous kitten whisker smile for every 10 frozen, airbrushed, filtered faces we see in media, I don't think it would take long for women (and men) to start seeing how absurd it all is. It's just a matter of conditioning, expanding our definition of what aging and living fully means and how it looks. I just watched the doc on Jim Henson and even his Muppets have more facial expressions than what I see in the media! Give me Kermit the Frog charisma any day. :)
this is beautiful!!
Thank you Elsa! 💛
Beautiful read—and timely for me. I’m turning 50 late this summer. Embracing aging with a fun sense of curiosity seems to be a good approach. It would actually feel disturbing to keep looking the same age while everyone else around me kept looking older. Loved all the fun tidbits you wove into this piece!
Thanks Daphne! Toasting us both into our fifth decade! It was fun to write… my memoir didn’t often require as much research so it’s been fun to have a more “topic based” exercise, makes me feel a bit like I’m in college again. :)
Dearest Kimberly, I couldn't quite believe the timing of your wise and wonderful words! I read this essay on Sunday evening after celebrating the day of my 60th birthday with a dear friend. Crows feet were very present... beautifully formed over the years of our friendship and spoken of with laughter and relief at having the chance to still be able, we wrote haiku in the meadow giving thanks for our life - I wish I could send you a photo here, I wish you could have joined us.
Victor Borge. said “The smile is the shortest distance between two persons”
The distance may be far, as it was for the majority of years for my friend and I, but I am sending you a smile, I am adding to my "Scars of accumulated joy" as I hope to add to yours. xxx
How fun! It sounds like a beautiful ushering in of a new decade. And writing haiku in a meadow and giving thanks for life? I might have to steal that one on my 50th. So glad the timing worked out so that, unbeknownst to me, I got to sneak in a celebrate a bit with you too. Feeling the depth of friendship and appreciation and respect and awe and and and I have developed for this community of writers on substack is overwhelming at times... and the distance IS too far. I have a hunch if we all were near, we'd form a commune and the rest would be history. But I smile as I type this, in response to yours, and feel how we bend time and space to commune in our hearts. So much love.
At first I thought of literal crow feet, but then I remembered, there is such a thing as crow's feet on our faces. I find them quite fascinating, because they evolve over time and are different looking for everyone. This is such a beautiful piece on normalizing aging and not being afraid of smiling. Indeed, we are our happiest when we beam and laugh.
I love that your brain first went to the actual bird. ;) Now that's a sign of a healthy human. Thank you for your kind feedback, it was a fun rabbit hole to fall into this past month. I knew intuitively that smiling felt good but had no clue of all the research to back it up!
Healthy at least in mind - haha! ;-) Indeed, even when we start by faking it, it becomes second nature over time. So many benefits just from smiling. Thank you for such a wonderful, gorgeous, thoughtful work as always.
Crows feet tell of a life lived while smiling… a beautiful testament I think.
Absolutely. Smiling right now as I think about it.:)
This was full of so much amazing info, Kimberly (and beautifully written, of course). Wow. I learnt a lot. Embrace those crows! The smile is so much in and around the eyes.
PS loooove that artwork.
Plus, always a fan of lore: "Koga Nvwati, believes the crow is a shape-shifter and keeper of all sacred law, protecting and promoting the ancient knowledge that physical and spiritual worlds are not separate." So cool.
Isn’t that artwork stunning? Took my breath away the first time I saw it. Then did a search for the artist and his other works are quite surreal and often horrific, so it made me second guess my interpretation. But no matter, I’m sticking with it!
...and now I go seek said other artwork! 😄
“I gladly join their plea every time I smile.” I broke into a grin with this line.
This piece is so good, Kimberly. it shines like the joy on the face of your gorgeous mom in her smiling photo. may we all embrace the lines joy has etched into us!
Awww, thank you Holly. I always cherish your feedback. If my essay brought a grin to your face then mission accomplished!
Crow's feet-beautiful. I always look at my grandma and find her beauty woven into her wrinkles. Her love and generosity make her the prettiest lady.
Awww, sounds like a special human in your life. I bet she glows when you're near. ;)
She is : )