Exquisite, soulful writing again dear daughter! I still marvel at your light-hearted, yet brave & penetratingly real, letter you wrote to Charlie’s siblings not knowing if they’d even respond. And why wouldn’t they? You are obviously a continuation of their brother in so many ways… 💕
Discovering all the similarities have been such a rewarding part of this journey. I had no idea how dominant the "nature" part of me was and is, though the "nurture" aspects certainly helped lay the foundation. xo
No matter what you are writing, you write with such a fluid and honest elegance Kimberly. I am mesmerized by your life, your story. The courage you find to pen a letter such as you have is beyond brave. I am hanging fearfully on tenterhooks for the next and the next and the next words with such profound hope that the light you are searching for shines and never stops... x
Susie, your comments are part of that hope and light. :) Always stopping my breath for a moment and then re-reading, slowly, allowing your depth and compassion to sink in. Wishing you a very bright and beautiful year ahead friend!
My mother took her secrets to the grave, so I had to do some extra sleuthing to figure out my paternity. It wasn’t as pretty as your story, but interesting nonetheless. Have yourself a wonderful holiday.
Another kind of letter altogether. Exquisite! Kimberly, when you wrote, “With the help of Google, I started filling in details on my trip home, and found some old albums on ebay that nearly stopped my heart—I saw myself in Charles’ face,” tears tugged at my eyes.
Your story and your beautiful writing are so deeply touching to me. Thank you for sharing it.
Oh Holly, I know this story has a personal tug for you. I think about you often as I work my way through the chapters—the longing for a relationship that lives mostly as fiction, such a peculiar ache. Thank you for being with me here, I know it must not be easy to read. xo
It may have been more difficult had I read it during the eighteen years when my daughter and I weren't in connection. And yes, there is still heartache over decisions I made as a mere child and longing for a past relationship that can only ever live in fiction and all the unanswerable questions and challenges that go along with all that. And of course my heart breaks knowing she experienced feelings of being abandoned and unwanted. And she and I have been in connection since she turned 18 ten years ago, and we're close. That bond has gone a long way toward healing, for both of us I hope. I'm hoping I didn't give you the misimpression that we're still not in touch, and I apologize if I did.
Either way, yes, this story for sure has a personal tug. And your writing--so distilled and emotionally honest--draws me in.
Oh gosh, not at all... I remember you mentioning your current relationship and it made my heart so happy to hear. I was only referring to those earlier years, when the ache and the unknown were more prevalent. I can only imagine how fulfilling it must be to now know and hold and nurture that bond! I don’t know why but I feel a longing to see a picture of you two together...if you ever want to share someday.❤️
Really?! I’m delighted to hear you think so... sometimes words feel like a tangled ball of yarn in my brain and it takes so much attention and time to unravel it all!
Kimberly, there is so much emotion laden in your words. Your story, and the way you have written it, is truly moving. I was totally engrossed in reading the letter in this chapter.
Also, below are two phrases that stood out too me:
“we rode serendipity...” — I love that as a phrase.
“my undefined, homeless emotions” — I love that as a phrase as well!
I continue to be amazed and touched by your interest in my story. That letter was a tough one to write and I wasn't sure I should include it in the memoir but it really did capture so much of the emotion I was feeling at the time. Thank you, always, for your encouraging words Michael!
What a lovely, heartfelt way of approaching a potential familial soul. If it were me, I'd connect with you in a heart beat and also treat you as family, blood or not.
What a brave, thoughtful and elegant letter you penned. I love the way you pieced things together and brought more understanding and wholeness to your life. Even though this new reality was shattering to you at first, you listened to life and your own need to know as you became ready. Your openness to possibility and your desire to create are evident in your story.
Thank you for you reflections Dawn. You're so right, I was absolutely open to possibility, even if that possibility might be difficult. It took quite a while to assimilate it all, I think my mind was ready before my body... but eventually, I found my way whole again. :)
As someone who never knew my birth father, I'm glued to this story. My paternity was always known, but who my father was as a person will always be a mystery. May 2024 bring you clarity.
Ahhh, sister. I feel and know the longing. The mystery is sometimes spectacular and magical and other times a void. 2024 and the many chapters to come will, indeed, offer clarity. And may they also be a balm to your own heart. Wishing you a very peaceful holiday friend.
Exquisite, soulful writing again dear daughter! I still marvel at your light-hearted, yet brave & penetratingly real, letter you wrote to Charlie’s siblings not knowing if they’d even respond. And why wouldn’t they? You are obviously a continuation of their brother in so many ways… 💕
Discovering all the similarities have been such a rewarding part of this journey. I had no idea how dominant the "nature" part of me was and is, though the "nurture" aspects certainly helped lay the foundation. xo
No matter what you are writing, you write with such a fluid and honest elegance Kimberly. I am mesmerized by your life, your story. The courage you find to pen a letter such as you have is beyond brave. I am hanging fearfully on tenterhooks for the next and the next and the next words with such profound hope that the light you are searching for shines and never stops... x
Susie, your comments are part of that hope and light. :) Always stopping my breath for a moment and then re-reading, slowly, allowing your depth and compassion to sink in. Wishing you a very bright and beautiful year ahead friend!
My mother took her secrets to the grave, so I had to do some extra sleuthing to figure out my paternity. It wasn’t as pretty as your story, but interesting nonetheless. Have yourself a wonderful holiday.
Sleuthing can be very satisfying. I'm glad you've been able to dig up some truths as well. And happy almost new year to you!
This heartfelt letter brings tears to my eyes (I'm sure it was hard to write too) 💕
Another kind of letter altogether. Exquisite! Kimberly, when you wrote, “With the help of Google, I started filling in details on my trip home, and found some old albums on ebay that nearly stopped my heart—I saw myself in Charles’ face,” tears tugged at my eyes.
Your story and your beautiful writing are so deeply touching to me. Thank you for sharing it.
Oh Holly, I know this story has a personal tug for you. I think about you often as I work my way through the chapters—the longing for a relationship that lives mostly as fiction, such a peculiar ache. Thank you for being with me here, I know it must not be easy to read. xo
No, not at all. It's wonderful to read.
It may have been more difficult had I read it during the eighteen years when my daughter and I weren't in connection. And yes, there is still heartache over decisions I made as a mere child and longing for a past relationship that can only ever live in fiction and all the unanswerable questions and challenges that go along with all that. And of course my heart breaks knowing she experienced feelings of being abandoned and unwanted. And she and I have been in connection since she turned 18 ten years ago, and we're close. That bond has gone a long way toward healing, for both of us I hope. I'm hoping I didn't give you the misimpression that we're still not in touch, and I apologize if I did.
Either way, yes, this story for sure has a personal tug. And your writing--so distilled and emotionally honest--draws me in.
Oh gosh, not at all... I remember you mentioning your current relationship and it made my heart so happy to hear. I was only referring to those earlier years, when the ache and the unknown were more prevalent. I can only imagine how fulfilling it must be to now know and hold and nurture that bond! I don’t know why but I feel a longing to see a picture of you two together...if you ever want to share someday.❤️
Yes, for sure! I’ll bring photos to Portland :)
💕👏
It's just such a moving story, Kimberly, and so well told. The words just flow and I'm hooked the moment I start reading.
Really?! I’m delighted to hear you think so... sometimes words feel like a tangled ball of yarn in my brain and it takes so much attention and time to unravel it all!
Nope nope, no yarn at all -- they are a flowing stream 😍
👏💛
I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much reading a memoir.
“When you were on water, did she speak of your looming death? Was she your playmate, your lover or foe?
Are we drawn to elements that eventually undraw us?”
Tears.
The letter to his brother. Tears.
It’s all just so achingly beautiful. Thank you.
My heart's response to you, dear sister: TEARS.
Kimberly, there is so much emotion laden in your words. Your story, and the way you have written it, is truly moving. I was totally engrossed in reading the letter in this chapter.
Also, below are two phrases that stood out too me:
“we rode serendipity...” — I love that as a phrase.
“my undefined, homeless emotions” — I love that as a phrase as well!
I continue to be amazed and touched by your interest in my story. That letter was a tough one to write and I wasn't sure I should include it in the memoir but it really did capture so much of the emotion I was feeling at the time. Thank you, always, for your encouraging words Michael!
Speaking as purely an outside observer, I think the letter was definitely a good inclusion in you memoir. :)
🙏
What a lovely, heartfelt way of approaching a potential familial soul. If it were me, I'd connect with you in a heart beat and also treat you as family, blood or not.
Ok, sister. It's settled then. :)
:D <3
What a brave, thoughtful and elegant letter you penned. I love the way you pieced things together and brought more understanding and wholeness to your life. Even though this new reality was shattering to you at first, you listened to life and your own need to know as you became ready. Your openness to possibility and your desire to create are evident in your story.
Thank you for you reflections Dawn. You're so right, I was absolutely open to possibility, even if that possibility might be difficult. It took quite a while to assimilate it all, I think my mind was ready before my body... but eventually, I found my way whole again. :)
You surely have. You're an inspiration!
Wow, wow indeed! Totally hooked and hanginvv go out for the next ep!
Wow, so good Kimberly!
Wow. Just wow.
As someone who never knew my birth father, I'm glued to this story. My paternity was always known, but who my father was as a person will always be a mystery. May 2024 bring you clarity.
Ahhh, sister. I feel and know the longing. The mystery is sometimes spectacular and magical and other times a void. 2024 and the many chapters to come will, indeed, offer clarity. And may they also be a balm to your own heart. Wishing you a very peaceful holiday friend.
Wow! That was a big leap - jumping forward to read the answer (if any...)