What a journey, Kim! So glad you shared your story - I see where the seed of Unfixed was planted, and it's grown into something so beautiful, suffused with your warmth and compassion. It's been such an honor getting to know you - much love 💛💚💙
As Seneca once said, “Every new beginning comes from other beginning's end." So yes, seeds planted at the close of this memoir, now leafing and bearing fruit. Let’s feast!
Our lives have touched, Kim, and you reflect me, I have gotten a better view of me through you....
Can I gift you a song not mine?
To quote one of your comments:
"I've always wanted to see ghosts and believe in angels. And though I can't claim any special ESP powers, I have felt throughout this story, too-many-time-to-count, that someone else has a hand in it all. Maybe that's what synchronicity actually is?"
Listen to it at a quiet moment, and turn up the volume so it enters your core. Sorry, probably more tears ahead.
Oh Bertus, what a gorgeous offering. Dave and I watched/listened/felt it together; the simplicity of the animation allowing the message and emotion to flood through us. Thank you for your gentlest wisdom, always arriving with a mirror for reflection and a torch for guidance.
And on a side note, I was just speaking with a friend about animation... do you know any such humans?
Not sure what you mean with such humans...animated ones? No, probably not. More likely those magicians that draw and bring to life...I know they exist, but I don't see'em....;)
Oh haha, sorry for not being clear. I actually meant, do you know any animators? My friend has a monologue and we're trying to figure out how we might create an animation to live alongside her narration. (Though I really like how you replied here, just sent my mind into a fluttering whirlwind!)
My middle daughter has studied game design but she has moved on and is not actively creating at the moment. I was however amazed at the crazy visual talent among the students. Late teenage early twenties and dying to get their hands on a real project. So I would go fishing at some relatively local animation/art school, look at exam projects....
We're sharing synapses again. I just spent a better part of yesterday researching a few of the animation schools on the west coast and putting feelers out to student boards. xo
Bertus, you have presented Kimberly with a gift . It’s value beyond any quantifiable scale. Would you do me the honor of allowing me to sign my name , under yours?
As the last chapter has come to a close, I can’t think of a more appropriate time to offer this painful beauty. And with the ethereal voice of Kate Busch.
The ultimate epitaph to loss . And to life. And to love.
The song , combined with the animation, will now forever be inscribed in my own heart . How can this not produce tears… thank you
It is easy to fill up with emotion as my thoughts intricately weave with yours. So many twists and turns. Sometimes I can only describe it as entangled in the masterpiece of a spider’s silken web, unable to move forward or back. Movement comes only as the web moves.
Out of your control.
Flying , trying , failing, surviving, living.
All of your relationships dependent on each other in order for life to form new meaning.
Yes, we did get to know each other
here .( and Ranger, both of them).
I would love to hear what you have come up with for the name, as well as the cover.
I am also confident you will present new ideas that will continue to feed my emotions and innately require me to tell you about it. Your writing will allow nothing less.
I so wish we could connect in person right now Lor so I could deliver a too-long bear hug. What an honor to be tangled in this web together, swaying in the wind as the seasons and all her relations move and change us.
It's funny that I don't have a name, or cover idea. Never been good at putting things in boxes so the idea of trying to give this a name is harder than writing the entire memoir. ;) Perhaps I should solicit suggestions from my readers?
A dear from just shared that the best place to plant questions (which is where my mind is now.... the "what's next" question), is in the ground. So as spring is upon us, I plant the unknown into all that has come before and trust that time and life and love will nurture me/us/our web into something new.
Oh, I most certainly agree ! A long hug would definitely be in order. Come on over for a few tears , laughs, good food and chocolate.
If you have the capability to provide an email address that is outside the realm of private, I can do the next best thing to a hug. And, the name of your memoir, I can add my ‘two cents’ if and when you might request it…
... your "next best thing" is NEXT LEVEL. I will cherish and remember it for as long as I live. (And I suspect even beyond.) A most heartfelt, giddy thank you to you... and dear Chloe.
Micah is correct that writing is medicine for the soul. I add that this memoir, itself, is medicine for the soul. Gorgeous close to a vulnerable, heart-baring telling. Kudos, Kimberly. The journey has been magical, indeed.
Thank you dear Micah, I’m so grateful you’ve been on this journey with me, offering encouragement and nods of resonance. To hear that some of what I experienced and composted became medicine, not just for myself but others too, is such a testament to the importance of storytelling. 🙏
I am SO grateful to have met you here. Your memoir is exquisite and I will savour these last few chapters. My Sunday ritual is looking forward to reading your work. Will gladly await whatever comes next!
I don't know what else to say, but thank you! Thank you, Kimberly, for sharing your story and for the gift of your beautiful words. Thank you for adding wisdom and changing perspectives. What an incredible journey you've been on, and, yes, it's just the beginning. You've planted a seed of goodness in so many hearts. ♥️♥️♥️
What a beautiful thought Jenna. If only we could all see our stories as seeds planted—perhaps not even knowing "what" the final manifestation of that seed is, trusting that we've done our job in the planting...and never knowing who might come along and decide to nurture those seeds into something entirely their own.
I’ve saved this for days, not wanting to read the final chapter, not wanting to lose the tiny link to this fragment of your life you have so bravely allowed us to become a part of…
I watched the animation and listened to the song sent by Bertus, it made me even more tearful.
This little square space of internet connectivity is a gift I never anticipated and you are the beautiful, perfectly tied ribbon with the tag written in gorgeous writing, that says ‘with all my love’ ♥️
Bless you for giving us this story, for taking us on your intricate, heartbreaking and yet still joyful journey - I can’t wait to see where the next one will lead.. with love and a huge hug xxx
May I catch your tears and offer them to all the courageously sprouting life-lings outside my window?
I do have an epilogue to share this Sunday and an Unfixed-in-practice offering the following. So rest assured, our embrace has only just begun. I look forward to walking the hills with you every week, rain or shine, fog or snow; your own journey just as open, vulnerable, reverent and reaching as anything I ever conveyed through my own. I dream of that cup of tea and a hill walk together someday.
I knew I was going to have to save this last chapter for when I was home, alone and could just absorb it all. Im so glad I waited. I am a puddle. Your memoir, your writing is the best I've read on Substack. I'm sad it's over, but I appreciate you've pointed me to another great one from @MaryLTabor!
There are so many parallels in my own life-- the two and a half years in the wilderness, emptying an old house and rooting ourselves in something new, the lost father(s). I am aching and grieving for my own with newfound vigour because the way you've honoured both of yours. The finishing of Charlie's poems??!! I feel like the universe opened up a hole and you got to sweep up into it with Charlie's words and your own. Introducing yourself to him in the most beautiful and profound way. Like he always meant to leave you those word bread crumbs to find and prose to finish.
Forgive any typo's. I've had so many, but my eyes are blurry from tears that won't stop and I'm trying to wipe them away underneath my glasses, while still needing my glasses to see. Tears make it much harder! I was crying before, but watching the video offered by one of your other readers @Bertus has left me in a flood of them. So much to process.
Thank-you for your writing gift and sharing it with all of us. xo
What a beautiful thought, that Charlie's exit opened up a time-space hole where my own becoming could enter. I'm beyond grateful our paths have crossed here, the synchronicity of our shared storylines, the exquisite understanding that our own darkness can become a star map for another. And how beautiful that dear @bertus sweeps in with the perfect video and now many of you are feeling its blessing. The symbiotic space we have over here is like nothing else. A most heartfelt thank you for your presence in my life and your deep wisdom in this world. xo
Thank you Maddie! The real "wrap up" will release this Sunday as the epilogue, and then another week for some more practical notes, so we're not done yet! xoxoxoxo
You have faced so much uncertainty and change with courage and an eye for beauty. I agree with Troy Ford about the evident seed of Unfixed. Also, Manzanita: What a healing place! I've been there only once but still picture that wide expanse of beach and the intimate town.
So you know the sleepy, magical town of Manzanita too?! We ended up living there for a year and it was the cocoon of wet, fertile darkness and small-town-friendship that our uncertainty most needed. Thank you for reading along on this journey Tara, it's been a treasure to have you here.
Yes, I vacationed there years ago. It was a favorite spot. We thought we would go back but never did. It was very cozy and friendly. I can imagine the healing of it. I’ve enjoyed your remarkable story.
I haven't been here since the beginning but I feel some sense of sadness that this is nearly over, but at the same time there is also the uplifting sense that this part of your journey is closing and has been told. Once the epilogue and commentary is done, I will return to the very start. (Better yet, I will purchase the published book ;))
Never stop writing, Kimberly. It is one of your gifts.
What a dear, memorable thing to share Nathan. I cherish your words. Epilogue is now out if you want to head over there. My last commentary I'll share this Sunday. You've been such a dear support for a big chunk of the way (it feels like from the beginning but I guess not!), and that kindness will never be forgotten. Paying it forward every time I read another essay over here, actually. ;)
I think I've been a little slow to click through not only because work is absolutely destroying my soul at the moment but also because I know we're so close to the end.
I’ve been putting off commenting. Like reading a favorite book for the first time, it isnt truly over until I remove the bookmark. Of course I can and will read this again but there is nothing like the first time! Kimberly, this has been such a pleasure. Never has a memoir made me so emotional, so captivated. Your ability to retell the story of your life with such elegance is extraordinary. As my life has become busier, your chapters were always a much needed respite from the din of life. I’m so excited for the present and future of your writing life. I am eternally grateful for your courage in sharing your story with us. For evoking the most beautiful, big fat tears I’ve ever had reading a memoir, and for lovingly embracing all of us who are trapped in glass cases of emotion after reading your words. Thank you. Thank you. I adore you. ❤️🔥
I delayed this a little, knowing it was technically (and still, totally not) ‘the end’. Probably bad form of me, turning up to your surprise party without having read it ;)
I lost count of the amount of big sighs I let out during this chapter. Letting go… Now, I’ve been reading your memoir in spiral shaped Warner-time, and will continue to do so, but I want to honour this particular piece for the depth of hard won wisdom it contains—the realisation that nothing is lacking, becoming unconcerned with becoming. I sat in a circle once and someone spoke into that circle the words “No hope. No fear. Like grace, like grace…” There is a grace to you which I believe can only be found once a critical mass of ego has been shed. I celebrate your life, and offer sincerest thanks for you sharing it.
You and Lor... oh my Chloe. I was in a fit of smiles the other day at your "surprise party." If only I could've filmed the expressions on my face as I traveled through the space, throwing imaginary arms around you both, feasting on cheese and chocolates.
Spiral-shaped Warner-time. Should that be thrown into the hat for possible memoir titles?! :) I love imagining that your process of reading this might be knitting some great-cosmic sweater between dimensions.
"No hope. No fear. Like grace, like grace." Reminds me of a discussion Dave and I were having the other day about dreams and wants. When I first met Dave (almost 20 years ago!) I would ask him with my self-improvement goggles fully intact, "What are your dreams?" And I was concerned (but simultaneously drew near) when he said he didn't have any. Twenty years and a lot of shedding later, I feel the freedom in his words. The allowing. Alighting on the branch that presents herself and singing as if there is no other. x
What an extraordinary journey! What a life with so many unexpected twists and turns. So beautifully written, and deeply experienced. That's why it touches everyone's heart. It's definitely flowed straight into mine. Thank you so much for sharing your story 💗 and all the coincidental shared bits and snippets we discovered... (I even know your birthday now ~ it's one of my brother's birthday too ~ no surprise anymore...) This is only the beginning 💕🙏
Only the beginning indeed Veronika. This microbiome of love and wisdom and kindness and insight and and and... I get a little giddy just imagining the life that is still to come, nurtured by the seemingly infinite sympoetic relations.
What a journey, Kim! So glad you shared your story - I see where the seed of Unfixed was planted, and it's grown into something so beautiful, suffused with your warmth and compassion. It's been such an honor getting to know you - much love 💛💚💙
As Seneca once said, “Every new beginning comes from other beginning's end." So yes, seeds planted at the close of this memoir, now leafing and bearing fruit. Let’s feast!
So it wasn’t Semisonic?? 🤣
Wait! I'm not smart enough! What does that mean?
Haha no I meant the lyrics from the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic. I’m the one who wasn’t smart enough to know it was originally a Seneca quote.
Oh haha! I get it now. ;)
Our lives have touched, Kim, and you reflect me, I have gotten a better view of me through you....
Can I gift you a song not mine?
To quote one of your comments:
"I've always wanted to see ghosts and believe in angels. And though I can't claim any special ESP powers, I have felt throughout this story, too-many-time-to-count, that someone else has a hand in it all. Maybe that's what synchronicity actually is?"
Listen to it at a quiet moment, and turn up the volume so it enters your core. Sorry, probably more tears ahead.
https://youtu.be/7TNFysecmq0?si=UvF5o509Rf46Uc_Q
Oh Bertus, what a gorgeous offering. Dave and I watched/listened/felt it together; the simplicity of the animation allowing the message and emotion to flood through us. Thank you for your gentlest wisdom, always arriving with a mirror for reflection and a torch for guidance.
And on a side note, I was just speaking with a friend about animation... do you know any such humans?
Not sure what you mean with such humans...animated ones? No, probably not. More likely those magicians that draw and bring to life...I know they exist, but I don't see'em....;)
Oh haha, sorry for not being clear. I actually meant, do you know any animators? My friend has a monologue and we're trying to figure out how we might create an animation to live alongside her narration. (Though I really like how you replied here, just sent my mind into a fluttering whirlwind!)
My middle daughter has studied game design but she has moved on and is not actively creating at the moment. I was however amazed at the crazy visual talent among the students. Late teenage early twenties and dying to get their hands on a real project. So I would go fishing at some relatively local animation/art school, look at exam projects....
We're sharing synapses again. I just spent a better part of yesterday researching a few of the animation schools on the west coast and putting feelers out to student boards. xo
Bertus, you have presented Kimberly with a gift . It’s value beyond any quantifiable scale. Would you do me the honor of allowing me to sign my name , under yours?
As the last chapter has come to a close, I can’t think of a more appropriate time to offer this painful beauty. And with the ethereal voice of Kate Busch.
The ultimate epitaph to loss . And to life. And to love.
The song , combined with the animation, will now forever be inscribed in my own heart . How can this not produce tears… thank you
Yes Lor....you are very welcome...
wonderful video! I'd already seen the animation many years ago. But now it has a whole new meaning!! Thank you for sharing Bertus 💕🙏
It is easy to fill up with emotion as my thoughts intricately weave with yours. So many twists and turns. Sometimes I can only describe it as entangled in the masterpiece of a spider’s silken web, unable to move forward or back. Movement comes only as the web moves.
Out of your control.
Flying , trying , failing, surviving, living.
All of your relationships dependent on each other in order for life to form new meaning.
Yes, we did get to know each other
here .( and Ranger, both of them).
I would love to hear what you have come up with for the name, as well as the cover.
I am also confident you will present new ideas that will continue to feed my emotions and innately require me to tell you about it. Your writing will allow nothing less.
I so wish we could connect in person right now Lor so I could deliver a too-long bear hug. What an honor to be tangled in this web together, swaying in the wind as the seasons and all her relations move and change us.
It's funny that I don't have a name, or cover idea. Never been good at putting things in boxes so the idea of trying to give this a name is harder than writing the entire memoir. ;) Perhaps I should solicit suggestions from my readers?
A dear from just shared that the best place to plant questions (which is where my mind is now.... the "what's next" question), is in the ground. So as spring is upon us, I plant the unknown into all that has come before and trust that time and life and love will nurture me/us/our web into something new.
Oh, I most certainly agree ! A long hug would definitely be in order. Come on over for a few tears , laughs, good food and chocolate.
If you have the capability to provide an email address that is outside the realm of private, I can do the next best thing to a hug. And, the name of your memoir, I can add my ‘two cents’ if and when you might request it…
... your "next best thing" is NEXT LEVEL. I will cherish and remember it for as long as I live. (And I suspect even beyond.) A most heartfelt, giddy thank you to you... and dear Chloe.
Request delivered on sweet Ranger breath! (And here's my email... I would adore hearing from you, anytime.) warnerkimberly@me.com
Micah is correct that writing is medicine for the soul. I add that this memoir, itself, is medicine for the soul. Gorgeous close to a vulnerable, heart-baring telling. Kudos, Kimberly. The journey has been magical, indeed.
Vulnerable, heart-baring telling seems to be a theme for the both of us. So happy to feel this medicine alongside you dear new friend.
You are quite simply: A Wonder! I celebrate you!
🥹🥹🥹 Wow... Looking forward to the epilogue and to have met you here Kim. Keep writing, it is medicine for the soul ❤️
Thank you dear Micah, I’m so grateful you’ve been on this journey with me, offering encouragement and nods of resonance. To hear that some of what I experienced and composted became medicine, not just for myself but others too, is such a testament to the importance of storytelling. 🙏
Yes, storytelling heals! ❤️ Look forward to continuing the journey with you here on this miraculous platform that is substack 🙃🤗
*grateful to have met you here
I am SO grateful to have met you here. Your memoir is exquisite and I will savour these last few chapters. My Sunday ritual is looking forward to reading your work. Will gladly await whatever comes next!
I don't know what else to say, but thank you! Thank you, Kimberly, for sharing your story and for the gift of your beautiful words. Thank you for adding wisdom and changing perspectives. What an incredible journey you've been on, and, yes, it's just the beginning. You've planted a seed of goodness in so many hearts. ♥️♥️♥️
What a beautiful thought Jenna. If only we could all see our stories as seeds planted—perhaps not even knowing "what" the final manifestation of that seed is, trusting that we've done our job in the planting...and never knowing who might come along and decide to nurture those seeds into something entirely their own.
Oh Kimberly… I am tearful!
I’ve saved this for days, not wanting to read the final chapter, not wanting to lose the tiny link to this fragment of your life you have so bravely allowed us to become a part of…
I watched the animation and listened to the song sent by Bertus, it made me even more tearful.
This little square space of internet connectivity is a gift I never anticipated and you are the beautiful, perfectly tied ribbon with the tag written in gorgeous writing, that says ‘with all my love’ ♥️
Bless you for giving us this story, for taking us on your intricate, heartbreaking and yet still joyful journey - I can’t wait to see where the next one will lead.. with love and a huge hug xxx
May I catch your tears and offer them to all the courageously sprouting life-lings outside my window?
I do have an epilogue to share this Sunday and an Unfixed-in-practice offering the following. So rest assured, our embrace has only just begun. I look forward to walking the hills with you every week, rain or shine, fog or snow; your own journey just as open, vulnerable, reverent and reaching as anything I ever conveyed through my own. I dream of that cup of tea and a hill walk together someday.
Oh Kimberly.
I knew I was going to have to save this last chapter for when I was home, alone and could just absorb it all. Im so glad I waited. I am a puddle. Your memoir, your writing is the best I've read on Substack. I'm sad it's over, but I appreciate you've pointed me to another great one from @MaryLTabor!
There are so many parallels in my own life-- the two and a half years in the wilderness, emptying an old house and rooting ourselves in something new, the lost father(s). I am aching and grieving for my own with newfound vigour because the way you've honoured both of yours. The finishing of Charlie's poems??!! I feel like the universe opened up a hole and you got to sweep up into it with Charlie's words and your own. Introducing yourself to him in the most beautiful and profound way. Like he always meant to leave you those word bread crumbs to find and prose to finish.
Forgive any typo's. I've had so many, but my eyes are blurry from tears that won't stop and I'm trying to wipe them away underneath my glasses, while still needing my glasses to see. Tears make it much harder! I was crying before, but watching the video offered by one of your other readers @Bertus has left me in a flood of them. So much to process.
Thank-you for your writing gift and sharing it with all of us. xo
What a beautiful thought, that Charlie's exit opened up a time-space hole where my own becoming could enter. I'm beyond grateful our paths have crossed here, the synchronicity of our shared storylines, the exquisite understanding that our own darkness can become a star map for another. And how beautiful that dear @bertus sweeps in with the perfect video and now many of you are feeling its blessing. The symbiotic space we have over here is like nothing else. A most heartfelt thank you for your presence in my life and your deep wisdom in this world. xo
Congratulations on releasing this beautiful final chapter into the world. It’s been such a pleasure reading your words this last year! ❤️
Thank you Maddie! The real "wrap up" will release this Sunday as the epilogue, and then another week for some more practical notes, so we're not done yet! xoxoxoxo
And not being done yet = lucky for all of us! 🤗
You have faced so much uncertainty and change with courage and an eye for beauty. I agree with Troy Ford about the evident seed of Unfixed. Also, Manzanita: What a healing place! I've been there only once but still picture that wide expanse of beach and the intimate town.
So you know the sleepy, magical town of Manzanita too?! We ended up living there for a year and it was the cocoon of wet, fertile darkness and small-town-friendship that our uncertainty most needed. Thank you for reading along on this journey Tara, it's been a treasure to have you here.
Yes, I vacationed there years ago. It was a favorite spot. We thought we would go back but never did. It was very cozy and friendly. I can imagine the healing of it. I’ve enjoyed your remarkable story.
I haven't been here since the beginning but I feel some sense of sadness that this is nearly over, but at the same time there is also the uplifting sense that this part of your journey is closing and has been told. Once the epilogue and commentary is done, I will return to the very start. (Better yet, I will purchase the published book ;))
Never stop writing, Kimberly. It is one of your gifts.
What a dear, memorable thing to share Nathan. I cherish your words. Epilogue is now out if you want to head over there. My last commentary I'll share this Sunday. You've been such a dear support for a big chunk of the way (it feels like from the beginning but I guess not!), and that kindness will never be forgotten. Paying it forward every time I read another essay over here, actually. ;)
🤗
I think I've been a little slow to click through not only because work is absolutely destroying my soul at the moment but also because I know we're so close to the end.
The epilogue is there awaiting my click ;)
I’ve been putting off commenting. Like reading a favorite book for the first time, it isnt truly over until I remove the bookmark. Of course I can and will read this again but there is nothing like the first time! Kimberly, this has been such a pleasure. Never has a memoir made me so emotional, so captivated. Your ability to retell the story of your life with such elegance is extraordinary. As my life has become busier, your chapters were always a much needed respite from the din of life. I’m so excited for the present and future of your writing life. I am eternally grateful for your courage in sharing your story with us. For evoking the most beautiful, big fat tears I’ve ever had reading a memoir, and for lovingly embracing all of us who are trapped in glass cases of emotion after reading your words. Thank you. Thank you. I adore you. ❤️🔥
I delayed this a little, knowing it was technically (and still, totally not) ‘the end’. Probably bad form of me, turning up to your surprise party without having read it ;)
I lost count of the amount of big sighs I let out during this chapter. Letting go… Now, I’ve been reading your memoir in spiral shaped Warner-time, and will continue to do so, but I want to honour this particular piece for the depth of hard won wisdom it contains—the realisation that nothing is lacking, becoming unconcerned with becoming. I sat in a circle once and someone spoke into that circle the words “No hope. No fear. Like grace, like grace…” There is a grace to you which I believe can only be found once a critical mass of ego has been shed. I celebrate your life, and offer sincerest thanks for you sharing it.
You and Lor... oh my Chloe. I was in a fit of smiles the other day at your "surprise party." If only I could've filmed the expressions on my face as I traveled through the space, throwing imaginary arms around you both, feasting on cheese and chocolates.
Spiral-shaped Warner-time. Should that be thrown into the hat for possible memoir titles?! :) I love imagining that your process of reading this might be knitting some great-cosmic sweater between dimensions.
"No hope. No fear. Like grace, like grace." Reminds me of a discussion Dave and I were having the other day about dreams and wants. When I first met Dave (almost 20 years ago!) I would ask him with my self-improvement goggles fully intact, "What are your dreams?" And I was concerned (but simultaneously drew near) when he said he didn't have any. Twenty years and a lot of shedding later, I feel the freedom in his words. The allowing. Alighting on the branch that presents herself and singing as if there is no other. x
Thank you so much for this memoir, Kim. Wishing you continued healing and looking forward to whatever you bring us next.
You're so kind John. I'm glad something in my story touched you enough to want to stick with it to the very end. xo
What an extraordinary journey! What a life with so many unexpected twists and turns. So beautifully written, and deeply experienced. That's why it touches everyone's heart. It's definitely flowed straight into mine. Thank you so much for sharing your story 💗 and all the coincidental shared bits and snippets we discovered... (I even know your birthday now ~ it's one of my brother's birthday too ~ no surprise anymore...) This is only the beginning 💕🙏
Only the beginning indeed Veronika. This microbiome of love and wisdom and kindness and insight and and and... I get a little giddy just imagining the life that is still to come, nurtured by the seemingly infinite sympoetic relations.